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 Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea

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Toxiandra
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PostSubject: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Mon Sep 19, 2011 6:46 pm

I've been having so many freaky Slendy coincidences, I'm inspired to write a Slenderblog. I was chatting with my friends at a poetry club (We also share short stories) and they said I should try and start it up. The problem is, being an amateur writer, I'm having a bit of trouble over whether it sounds like a good idea or not. That's where you guys come in. The idea is still a baby. Hell, I've yet to even figure out what the gender of the narrator will be! But I figured I might as well ask for critique just to make sure I have a good foundation.

Basically, there's this teenager (I know, I know, it's been done before.) about 14 or 15 years old. I picture them as a loner, aggressive, cynical, apathetic kind of person. They don't have many friends and keep to themselves. They also don't have any hobbies are sports they enjoy, but they are very intelligent in comparison to the other students at their school. Soon, some of the students begin to disappear. (Inspired by how Der Grossmann supposedly kidnapped children, but with a twist.) The school notices and begins to worry. Many of the teachers think it would be best to temporarily shut down the school. At first, the main character is unfazed by this, but gradually starts to become interested as rumors of a faceless man float around the school. They begin to look up and research this mysterious creature, unaware that they will soon be the next victim.

I've only written a paragraph and a half so far. I'm not so sure if I wanna go out and start it up yet, so I was hoping you guys could tell me what you think of the idea before I dive into it. So be completely honest and critique any parts you think I should work on/fix. I know that there's a LOT of things I need to work on, so just the basic things you think I'll need. I'll handle all your critique maturely and reasonably.

Now that that's said...

COME AT ME.
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MarbleBumblebee
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:13 pm

Just, Personally, I think it would be better if you played like no one had a previous knowledge of slender man. Googling him seems to cheapen the story in my experience. Knowledge of him would have to come simply from firsthand experience.

Thats the only critique that I have. Otherwise, SOUNDS GREAT and good luck!
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Toxiandra
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:18 pm

MarbleBumblebee wrote:
Just, Personally, I think it would be better if you played like no one had a previous knowledge of slender man. Googling him seems to cheapen the story in my experience. Knowledge of him would have to come simply from firsthand experience.

Thats the only critique that I have. Otherwise, SOUNDS GREAT and good luck!

Thanks! The reason I wanted the googling/researching thing involved was because I thought it would be a little more realistic since a lot of blogs seem to be like, "So there's this really creepy man stalking me. I don't know what it is, but I know it's dangerous." And I wanted to go for a more, "Hmm, well let's see what this thing is." Ya know? If I heard about some strange monster, I would try and look it up.
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:32 pm

To be honest, it's hard to really critique an idea like that. I'd say that you should just take a chance and make it. Keep in mind, though, that blogs are a learning process. It usually takes about a month to get the hang of things.

The important things are not necessarily the ideas, but the execution. You can have wonderful ideas that crash and burn (as my plans did with the original Slenderbloggins) or they can be ideas that could never work executed wonderfully (like Fabulous, which includes the protagonist having Slendy as her boyfriend and is also terrifying). So your idea can work. It could also go horribly. All you can do is give it a shot.
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Omega
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:42 pm

Toxiandra wrote:
MarbleBumblebee wrote:
Just, Personally, I think it would be better if you played like no one had a previous knowledge of slender man. Googling him seems to cheapen the story in my experience. Knowledge of him would have to come simply from firsthand experience.

Thats the only critique that I have. Otherwise, SOUNDS GREAT and good luck!

Thanks! The reason I wanted the googling/researching thing involved was because I thought it would be a little more realistic since a lot of blogs seem to be like, "So there's this really creepy man stalking me. I don't know what it is, but I know it's dangerous." And I wanted to go for a more, "Hmm, well let's see what this thing is." Ya know? If I heard about some strange monster, I would try and look it up.

Considering the TVTropes page for Slendy is the second result when you google "Tall Man in a suit", I think it would be stranger for the characters not to be able to research Slendy. Unless you do like Musical Occurrences and have a perception filter over all Slender Man info online.

The idea seems straightforward enough that there's little to critique. All I can recommend is that you read the threads on this forum giving advice on blog making, and above all else remember to plan ahead. It will save you so much trouble in the long run.
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ExorcistGamer
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:52 pm

First biggest advice: planning, preparation, but leave open space for things to change, be removed or added.

You may find that some ideas you don't like anymore, you may find they need altering to fit in with other events or you may make connections you didn't make before and find ways to fit it in. You should plan but leave enough room open incase of emergencies.

Next: If you're going to have the character research on Slender Man and Slender Man kidnapping children from a school, pace it.

No one wants one of the first few posts to be "SLENDER MAN IS HERE, OMG! 011011000110111101101100 . I'M GONNA DIE!"

When it comes to research, Well it would be unbelievable if your character couldn't find anything on Slender Man, as part of my research for my blog when i was preparing it for the past several months, I typed in "tall man mythology" and variations into google to see if there was any myths and history I could adapt. A LOT of slender man sites pop up. However the fact your character is so apathetic could definitely help it take time before he researches, so that lets you pace that accordingly.

Patience and pacing is key, whenever you mention Slender related stuff or do research, it has to flow correctly and be used well.

Fortunately it sounds like you understand this, you mentioned your character is apathetic and then mentioned he's unfazed at other kids disappearing.

Excellent. Love it.

Understanding your character is another key part to writing in general, keeps the personality secure so that when it changes, the change is visible and invests the reader in it.

Slender Man kidnapping children from a school, I like this because I've sort of slightly begun the foreshadowing to Slender Man watching children in a school in my own blog.

I did this by doing nothing more then having the character comment that the children at the school seemed to be a little tired and distracted on two separate days. But both times my character shrugged it off, thinking of illnesses, P.E and it being a Friday as excuses for their tiredness.

Hinting is there but it doesn't stamp Slender Man's name right on it.

See the problem with involving children disappearing in a Slender Blog is it can break suspension of disbelief. Children disappearing are genuinely a bigger thing to be focused on by media.

So don't have like three children go missing all within the space of two weeks, massive break to suspension of disbelief. Pacing again is key here.

It is possible to pull off though; you just got to be slow and steady with it.

My other piece of advice for now is...Timing.

Your character is in school; therefore it is unlikely his posts will be in the middle of the day. Unless of course you make reasons for that be in the posts. It's something so small yet still important to keep an eye on.

Well I might think of more advice some other time, but that's the best I can offer so far. Good luck.

Extra part because Omega ninja'd me while i was writing: Yes, the threads where others asked for advice are a good idea to read, very useful tips to take into account.
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:22 pm

Thanks everyone for the tips! I'll take your advice and check out the thread you mentioned. I'll probably be working on this thing for a month or so before I actually post anything, to work on how to plan it out. And also, as for the pacing, subtleness and leaving room for changing, I think those are great ideas. I'm really starting to get a picture of how I want it to play out. About the children disappearing, ExorcistGamer, you're right. It won't go unnoticed when children start randomly vanishing. And maybe, instead of only disappearances, I could try adding some classic slender symptoms like memory loss and such? Or maybe try placing the setting in a very small town where there's no major happenings. And DaLadyBugMan, I agree with the execution. Like I said, I'll sit back for a while and think of how I want it to play out. Omega, I see what you mean by the searching part. What if they searched for something like pictures? Like if he overheard his classmates mentioning Slender Man? Thanks again, everyone!
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:41 pm

Don't forget how much what other blogers do or say might affect you, when actually in the game someone noticing a Slenderblog that seems to be ignorant or in denial will probably comment. Of course these range anywhere from vaugely helpful warnings, to semi physcotic 'He's coming for you posts', to 'Slender Man is coming, you'd better get ready.' If you really want to try to do horror that last comment is your enemy, I'm pretty sure part of the reason that Blogs are often more action oriented rather than fear based these days is because of how impossible it is to make a character genre blind without him/her coming across as someone in complete denial. You need to find a way to keep your character(s) in the dark that sounds belivable, at least until you're ready to reel out the tall guy. Good luck with your blog, though, I look forward to reading it.
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Thu Oct 20, 2011 1:44 am

FreedomCaged wrote:
Don't forget how much what other blogers do or say might affect you, when actually in the game someone noticing a Slenderblog that seems to be ignorant or in denial will probably comment. Of course these range anywhere from vaugely helpful warnings, to semi physcotic 'He's coming for you posts', to 'Slender Man is coming, you'd better get ready.' If you really want to try to do horror that last comment is your enemy, I'm pretty sure part of the reason that Blogs are often more action oriented rather than fear based these days is because of how impossible it is to make a character genre blind without him/her coming across as someone in complete denial. You need to find a way to keep your character(s) in the dark that sounds belivable, at least until you're ready to reel out the tall guy. Good luck with your blog, though, I look forward to reading it.

If I could link yet I'd show off what I hope is a good example in my blog. Jcarlson doesn't know jack about Slenderman or the Fear Mythos, he's never been into that sort of thing. So he's missing some signs that would scream Mythos involvement loud and clear. If you know the Fear Mythos Evan is pretty clearly being stalked by the Choir, but to Jcarlson his insistence that the other children are whispering about him and insulting him behind his back is just worrisome and probably means he needs some therapy.

(Spoilered content doesn't happen until next week if you happen, somehow, to be a current reader)
The kid who says he has a monster in his closet that whispers to him at night
Spoiler:
 

That guy in a suit who was lurking around the school? I really wish we'd gotten a description of his face. At least he hasn't come back. You'll note he didn't witness Slenderman himself and whoever did either convinced themselves they can't have seen what they did (that man MUST have had a face!) or is lying so they don't look crazy.

The closest he's come yet to something that might posibly seem
supernatural to him is the new Candle Cove episodes, and as far as he
knows that's just a really creepy puppet show for kids. My point is if
you try you can write someone who isn't clued in yet without writing
someone who's an idiot. What you can't do is wave the bloody obvious in their face and not have them do the research without them looking like an idiot.

Edit: Although surprisingly neither "Faceless Man" nor "Man with no face" turns up a Slenderman link on page one when I google it. So if someone doesn't include the suit in their search . . .
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Thu Oct 20, 2011 7:31 am

FreedomCaged wrote:
Don't forget how much what other blogers do or say might affect you, when actually in the game someone noticing a Slenderblog that seems to be ignorant or in denial will probably comment. Of course these range anywhere from vaugely helpful warnings, to semi physcotic 'He's coming for you posts', to 'Slender Man is coming, you'd better get ready.' If you really want to try to do horror that last comment is your enemy, I'm pretty sure part of the reason that Blogs are often more action oriented rather than fear based these days is because of how impossible it is to make a character genre blind without him/her coming across as someone in complete denial. You need to find a way to keep your character(s) in the dark that sounds belivable, at least until you're ready to reel out the tall guy. Good luck with your blog, though, I look forward to reading it.
I don't think this is true. With my first blog, I wanted a commenter to tell the character about Slendy, but this didn't happen (until way later). It kind of forced me to make things more and more obvious, ruining my initial plan for how it should have gone. Though maybe this is just what comes of using Wordpress.
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Thu Oct 20, 2011 7:43 am

Doesn't seem like such a bad idea. I always thought that a community-wide view of the effects a Slender Man appearance can have would be a cool focal point for a blog. The character sounds intensely cliche, but here's hoping you can do something interesting with it.
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Thu Oct 20, 2011 7:50 am

I would honestly like to avoid comments as much as I can. I'll either dig for a sight that doesn't allow them, or just simply have the character ignore them. And also, blech. I've been meaning to work on this for a while now. But with other things, I've been forgetting. I have been reminding myself to work on it lately, though, so I'm glad you guys are still motivating me for this. I know that I want the character's knowledge of Slender Man to be limited. Maybe googling a picture or reading one article on him. The character is a teenager afterall, and we do spend too much time on the internet. I just don't want them to get to the point of knowing about the blogs and vlogs, let alone read or watch them. I want them to know who Slender Man is, but not even mention the thing after a quite a couple of posts. They might drop hints like, "I guess I have a slight theory to what's going on, but you guys will all think I'm trolling." or, "So there's this guy, or thing, who looks like the thing that I could've sworn I've been seeing lately. I think it's him."

Bottom line, I want them to know who Slender Man is. But I don't want them to be blatant about it until the time actually comes. And also, commenters (OOC or not) are a "DO NOT WANT."

EDIT: Damn, Alder. Ninja'd me. If you're referring to my character, I know it's very cliche. I had that in my head from the first moment. But I thought it would be easier to write from the POV of something I can understand, as to not make the character sound stupid for their age. (If I make them an adult)


Last edited by Toxiandra on Thu Oct 20, 2011 3:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:07 am

Well blogspot lets you turn off comments on individual posts or the blog on a whole, so you can stop comments that way if you wish. That then gives you the option of turning them on or off whenever you so please.
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Thu Oct 20, 2011 12:14 pm

Toxiandra wrote:
I would honestly like to avoid comments as much as I can. I'll either dig for a sight that doesn't allow them, or just simply have the character ignore them. And also, blech. I've been meaning to work on this for a while now. But with other things, I've been forgetting. I have been reminding myself to work on it lately, though, so I'm glad you guys are still motivating me for this. I know that I want the character's knowledge of Slender Man to be limited. Maybe googling a picture or reading one article on him. The character is a teenager afterall, and we do spend too much time on the internet. I just don't want them to get to the point of knowing about the blogs and vlogs, let alone read or watch them. I want them to know who Slender Man is, but not even mention the thing after a quite a couple of posts. They might drop hints like, "I guess I have a slight theory to what's going on, but you guys will all think I'm trolling." or, "So there's this guy, or thing, who looks like the thing that I could've sworn I've been seeing lately. I think it's him."

Bottom line, I want them to know who Slender Man is. But I don't want them to be blatant about it until the time actually comes. And also, commenters (OCC or not) are a "DO NOT WANT."

Well, on Wordpress, you can set it so that you have to approve comments before they appear, which is really helpful. In addition, like ExorcistGamer said, you can disable comments completely.
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proxiehunter
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Thu Oct 20, 2011 6:28 pm

Toxiandra wrote:
Bottom line, I want them to know who Slender Man is. But I don't want them to be blatant about it until the time actually comes. And also, commenters (OOC or not) are a "DO NOT WANT."

It's your blog but I do think that's a shame. To me it feels like commenters and the interaction with them is one of the biggest strengths of using a blog as a format for fiction. If you're worried about the effect of comments that say too much you can always set it so you have to moderate the comments and only let through the ones you want to see.
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Thu Oct 20, 2011 6:36 pm

Actually, I didn't know that I could disable comments on some blog websites. I was only really saying that out of fear that someone would post something ridiculous. But if I have the ability to actually choose the comments shown, then I would most likely allow them. I was just worried about people being like "OHMIGOSHYOUNEEDTWENTYYY."
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PostSubject: Re: Need Critique For A Slenderblog Idea   Thu Oct 20, 2011 6:58 pm

That's a worry everyone has, but to be honest. I don't think it happens as much as it used to anymore. You look through the massively known blogs like Seeking Truth or The Tutorial or Dreams in Darkness and you'll see a lot. A lot of them though came late when the blog had already been around for ages, so it didn't matter anymore.

Hell I don't really see any or much in a lot of the main well-known blogs. I don't know if they're moderating it or what but nine times out of ten things seem fairly okay.

The only blogs I can recall seeing lots of it in are the three above mentioned blogs. But then that was the early, early days of the blog community.

Of course it's still your decision but I honestly haven't seen much of that going around these days.
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