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 At the Mountain Flash of Madness

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MilesHarriot
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PostSubject: At the Mountain Flash of Madness   Wed Feb 01, 2012 1:49 am

http://mountainflashofmadness.blogspot.com/2011/12/consternation.html

A new Slenderblog being done by me and my friend Shannen. The first post is there obviously, any questions regarding this blog just feel free to send an email to the one on the profile, or just message me on here! Please and thank you!^_^
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DaLadybugMan
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PostSubject: Re: At the Mountain Flash of Madness   Wed Feb 01, 2012 2:01 am

Show, don't tell.
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MilesHarriot
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PostSubject: Re: At the Mountain Flash of Madness   Wed Feb 01, 2012 2:03 am

DaLadybugMan wrote:
Show, don't tell.

Maybe I am just being dumb, but what do you mean by that?
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DaLadybugMan
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PostSubject: Re: At the Mountain Flash of Madness   Wed Feb 01, 2012 3:02 am

Old bit of writing advice. It basically means "don't tell the reader what they're supposed to feel, make them feel it by how you tell it." Your first post there describes events that happen, but there's no real emotion put into it. Use language in your description that implies how the protagonist felt about things! Don't just tell us what Slendy looks like, show us how that appearance affects the protagonist!

For example, instead of "He forced me to my hands and knees," say something like "A force invaded my mind, assaulting me with what sounded like the whispers of a dozen ghosts. I tried to continue, but the weight on my mind forced me back, dropping me to my hands and knees."

That's just an example, of course. What I'm saying is that you need to build atmosphere, not just tell us what happened. We're reading a story here, not a history book Wink

Hope that helped.
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MilesHarriot
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PostSubject: Re: At the Mountain Flash of Madness   Wed Feb 01, 2012 3:24 am

DaLadybugMan wrote:
Old bit of writing advice. It basically means "don't tell the reader what they're supposed to feel, make them feel it by how you tell it." Your first post there describes events that happen, but there's no real emotion put into it. Use language in your description that implies how the protagonist felt about things! Don't just tell us what Slendy looks like, show us how that appearance affects the protagonist!

For example, instead of "He forced me to my hands and knees," say something like "A force invaded my mind, assaulting me with what sounded like the whispers of a dozen ghosts. I tried to continue, but the weight on my mind forced me back, dropping me to my hands and knees."

That's just an example, of course. What I'm saying is that you need to build atmosphere, not just tell us what happened. We're reading a story here, not a history book Wink

Hope that helped.

Thank you! I understand what you are saying now, I will definitely incorporate that more, although the rather, for lack of a better word "frank" nature in which he describes Slenderman and the Rake is kind of a thing. That however will be more elaborated on in the next post I make which should be this weekend.
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PostSubject: Re: At the Mountain Flash of Madness   Today at 11:23 pm

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