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 Distressed over Distressing Clothes...

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Nessa
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PostSubject: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Fri May 18, 2012 10:52 pm

So here's the thing.

I have a b/vlog that's been in the works since the beginning of this year. It's supposed to start off as just a blog, and then something creepy happens and a camera finds its way into the narrator's hands, and from then on it's on-and-off half a blog and half a vlog.

But the character I play in this story has this big, sand-colored overcoat that looks like it's been around since at least world war two, and it's supposed to be sunbleached and blotchy and torn in all these weird places and stained with rust and just generally looking like someone's been trying to blow the noses of every monster from Silent Hill to Raccoon City with it.

And I have just one problem.

I have the overcoat, no problem there. Bought it at a thrift store, missing a button or two on the cuffs.

But other than that, it's in immaculate condition.

It's meant to be used as a raincoat, which means it's been waterproofed, which means it's a little bit invincible to my usual methods. I mean, hell- usually when I'm trying to distress clothes for a halloween costume or something, I just attach it with a clip to the back bumper of the car and drive around the block five or six times. But this thing is just- it's so durable, I don't know what to do with it. I tried to use a cheese grater on it, to fray the hem and the cuffs, and my fingers self-destructed before the damn fabric did. Literally. My skin gave into the minstrations of the grater before the fabric even noticed what I was doing.

So, what now? Does anyone around here have any advice for distressing fabric that's meant to defy most usual rules of dirt and grime? I mean, hell- I dug a hole, buried the thing, and every day for a week I poured the black coffee sludge at the bottom of the pot in the mornings over the spot where it was buried, and when I dug it up again, I shook it once, and it was pristine again- not a single stain on it.

Should I just give up and salute my newfound miracle-raincoat's durability, and go back to the thrift store to try and find something else that'll work? Or is there some trick to this that I'm not aware of, yet? The problem is, it's a perfect coat- when I was thinking up what my character would wear, this was exactly it. I don't know if I'll ever find one again that looks so exactly how I envisioned it.

*sigh* Well, here's hoping someone out there's run into this problem before, and knows how to fix it.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

-Nessa
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BananaBrains
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Fri May 18, 2012 11:03 pm

Your coat is made of miracles, I swear.

Have you tried power tools? Maybe an electric sander or something? I hear that sandpaper is supposed to work great on denim, so maybe amping it up a notch will have an effect on this coat? At least, it's got to be a little easier on you than trying the cheese grater.
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Nessa
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sat May 19, 2012 12:26 am

I'll give it a shot, good idea BananaBrains.

I'll have access to power tools this weekend. The electric sander might be just what I need. And hopefully whatever the result, I won't end up the worse for wear over it.

And if that doesn't work, then I'll just submit the damn thing to science and be done with it. Maybe after a few years of researching what it's made of, they'll be able to come up with some kind of new armoring for tanks or something.
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GlobalWolf
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sat May 19, 2012 11:18 am

Look on the bright side. I think that we've finally figured out how Slenderman keeps his suit so pristine despite living in the forest, sneaking through trees, and butchering film students.
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ChewieV2
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sat May 19, 2012 3:08 pm

The solution is to give it to me to wear for a week. That'll fuck it up royally.

Look at it's washing instructions, if it specifies a heat you shouldn't wash it over, wash it in a higher temperature than that.
That will probably significantly mess with whatever chemicals are making it rain proof which, in turn, should make it more vulnerable to other methods of attack.
Also, fire.
Fire helps with everything.
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Nessa
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sat May 19, 2012 6:45 pm

GlobalWolf: Holy hell, I didn't think of that. O_o Crap, I'm never going to be able to damage this thing, am I? I might as well just start a side blog about getting my hands on a piece of the Slenderman's suit and starting wide scale experiments on it to see what damages it.

ChewieV2: Aha ha ha. Believe me, if I could ship this thing into a warzone or something, I would. Maybe letting you wear it would be the next best thing? Wink

But yeah, there's no tags on the inside of the coat. Whoever had this monster of a thing before I did must have cut them off. Or it never had any to begin with...

I'll just wash it at the highest temperature my washing machine will allow. That ought to do something.

...right?

Fire- I may just have to resort to that. Anything short of pure destructive power seems to baulk at the thought of damaging this thing.



Also, a note on my previous post- I said 'this weekend', I forgot it was the weekend, I meant to imply 'this' = 'next' weekend. It'll be six days before I get my hands on those power tools.

O___O

RED ALERT.

IT BROKE MY SCISSORS.

IMMEDIATELY AFTER LAST POST, I WAS TRYING TO CUT A FEW OF THE STITCHES IN THE HEM TO COAX IT TO UNRAVEL.

AND IT BROKE MY SCISSORS.
THE TWO PIECES OF THE SCISSORS POPPED APART.

NOW PANICKING.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.


Last edited by BananaBrains on Sat May 19, 2012 8:27 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : just say no to double-posting!)
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BananaBrains
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sat May 19, 2012 8:30 pm

Can I declare your coat a newfound Fear? Because holy crap. I'd say "kill it with fire" but I don't even think that'll work at this point.

Maybe if you leave it in the middle of the road for a year, it'll slowly get roughed up. Maybe.

Unless maybe you can work it into the plot that this coat is somehow enchanted (because I'm starting to believe it is), maybe it is time to get a new one? This is getting scary.
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ChewieV2
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sat May 19, 2012 8:47 pm

. . . not even KEVLAR breaks scissors when you try to cut it.

What kind of alien technology, super-hero-garment fabric is that thing made of?
Did the shop also have the lost ark and the holy grail?!
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Nessa
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sun May 20, 2012 8:44 am

O___O

There was a cup.

On the counter.

That looked like a goblet.

I ONLY NOTICED IT BECAUSE THE SHOPKEEPER KEPT ASKING THE STOCK BOY WHERE HE WAS GOING TO PUT IT.
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ChewieV2
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sun May 20, 2012 11:00 am

I think you just went shopping in a Neil Gaiman short story. . .
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GlobalWolf
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sun May 20, 2012 11:10 am

Nessa wrote:


O___O

RED ALERT.

IT BROKE MY SCISSORS.

IMMEDIATELY AFTER LAST POST, I WAS TRYING TO CUT A FEW OF THE STITCHES IN THE HEM TO COAX IT TO UNRAVEL.

AND IT BROKE MY SCISSORS.
THE TWO PIECES OF THE SCISSORS POPPED APART.

NOW PANICKING.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

Hahahahha *nervous laughter*. I, uhm, I was just joking about it being a piece of Slenderman's suit. Uh...I was.

You said that this looked like a World War II military jacket, right? Is there a chance that it actually could be some sort of military raincoat or something? That would explain a lot, if it was made to withstand extreme conditions. Otherwise, I'm forced to conclude that it was forged in the fires of Mt. Doom in Mordor, where the shadows lie, to control all other raincoats, and that it will one day bring them together to bind them in the darkness. To distress this coat, you may have to throw it in a volcano.
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EvilRhino229
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sun May 20, 2012 1:15 pm

GlobalWolf wrote:

You said that this looked like a World War II military jacket, right? Is there a chance that it actually could be some sort of military raincoat or something? That would explain a lot, if it was made to withstand extreme conditions. Otherwise, I'm forced to conclude that it was forged in the fires of Mt. Doom in Mordor, where the shadows lie, to control all other raincoats, and that it will one day bring them together to bind them in the darkness. To distress this coat, you may have to throw it in a volcano.

Oh, if I could winpoint that, I would.
I'm not entirely sure how to even damage the jacket at this point, though. It seems like it may be made of Nokia phones.
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Zetto1995
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sun May 20, 2012 4:07 pm

I have a few suggestions, Oil and petroleum stains should work, Try using oil based paint and both motor and vegtable oil, You could also try iodine or hitting it with a tire chain..
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Nessa
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sun May 20, 2012 6:44 pm

Okay. Give me a day to work on it- I need to work my way through all these suggestions. I'll have the results by tonight, and god help me, if it's turned black and I've begun wearing it and my face is starting to dissappear, GET OUT OF THE FORUM. GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
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iScourge
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Tue May 22, 2012 2:45 am

o.o

I think it's turned black, and her face is gone. She has yet to post. -Hides-



I too, have a suggestion!

They said fire, but I think if you take a zippo lighter to the parts you want burned/darkened, it'll go miles. :3
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Zetto1995
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Tue May 22, 2012 1:39 pm

iScourge wrote:
I too, have a suggestion!

They said fire, but I think if you take a zippo lighter to the parts you want burned/darkened, it'll go miles. :3

It may have to be a flamethrower, The damn thing is unbreakable.
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GlobalWolf
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Tue May 22, 2012 3:12 pm

iScourge wrote:

They said fire, but I think if you take a zippo lighter to the parts you want burned/darkened, it'll go miles. :3

I would be somewhat careful with that if it's synthetic, though. If it's plastic rather than burnable fabric, then I would imagine that there's a good chance it'll just melt slightly in the area where you apply flame. Best to test it on a small area before risking a noticeably melted area on your (frankly quite amazing) coat.
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Nessa
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Wed May 23, 2012 11:31 pm

OKAY.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, I'M BACK.



FIRE DIDN'T WORK.

IT WAS TERRIFYING.

I WAS HOLDING THE LIGHTER UNDERNEATH THE HEM AND THE FIRE WAS ACTUALLY TOUCHING IT AND I MUST HAVE HELD IT THERE FOR A FULL MINUTE BEFORE REALIZING IT WAS A LOST CAUSE.

So I went online and started trying to look it up- there weren't any tags, but I typed in 'beige military raincoat' and guess what I found?

Yeah. It is an army jacket. From Korea, of all things.

No wonder I can't get it to do anything. The damn fabric is reinforced.

This will probably be my final update on this topic: I'm giving in and getting a different coat. I guess I'll just wear this one. For... you know, rain. And apocalypses.
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Zetto1995
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Thu May 24, 2012 9:17 am

Nessa wrote:
OKAY.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, I'M BACK.



FIRE DIDN'T WORK.

IT WAS TERRIFYING.

I WAS HOLDING THE LIGHTER UNDERNEATH THE HEM AND THE FIRE WAS ACTUALLY TOUCHING IT AND I MUST HAVE HELD IT THERE FOR A FULL MINUTE BEFORE REALIZING IT WAS A LOST CAUSE.

So I went online and started trying to look it up- there weren't any tags, but I typed in 'beige military raincoat' and guess what I found?

Yeah. It is an army jacket. From Korea, of all things.

No wonder I can't get it to do anything. The damn fabric is reinforced.

This will probably be my final update on this topic: I'm giving in and getting a different coat. I guess I'll just wear this one. For... you know, rain. And apocalypses.
OK man, My thoughts on this whole thing can be summed up in two words, HOLY SHIT!
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Thrillhaus
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sun Jun 03, 2012 10:54 am

This may be elementary, have you tried razor blades? Hold them perpendicular to the fabric and scrape. We used to use it to put all those awesome holes in our jeans way back in the early 90s because we had no idea what fashion was. Also, kevlar doesn't break scissors but that's due primarily to how it is structured. It holds up against impact trauma not shearing force. Remember kids, Kevlar: good for being shot at, bad for being shanked.

Also, since the fibers have most likely been treated with something as I am unaware of regular fibers that are that flame resistant have you tried paint thinner or mineral spirits? It should eat through most coatings but also make the jacket incredibly flamable so make sure to wash it after.
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ChewieV2
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PostSubject: Re: Distressed over Distressing Clothes...   Sun Jun 03, 2012 11:15 am

Thrillhaus wrote:


Also, since the fibers have most likely been treated with something as I am unaware of regular fibers that are that flame resistant have you tried paint thinner or mineral spirits? It should eat through most coatings but also make the jacket incredibly flamable so make sure to wash it after.

Actually that's entirely down to the weave of Kevlar you have. Dense weave is bullet proof but not stab proof and loose weave is stab proof but not bullet proof. A good kevlar vest will have several, alternating layers of both weaves.
I use kevlar for making wicks for fire toys so the loose weave, stab proof kevlar is the kind I buy.
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