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 My first Slender-short, "The House"

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BravoBismuth
deaddoll00
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deaddoll00
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deaddoll00


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My first Slender-short, "The House" Empty
PostSubject: My first Slender-short, "The House"   My first Slender-short, "The House" EmptySun Dec 16, 2012 6:55 pm

Never done one of these before, but we got our hands on a costume and decided to give it a try Smile We don't really have much experience and there's no story, just going for a very quick, short, creepy scene, so any suggestions are welcome!



Last edited by deaddoll00 on Sun Feb 03, 2013 6:17 pm; edited 1 time in total
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BravoBismuth
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My first Slender-short, "The House" Empty
PostSubject: Re: My first Slender-short, "The House"   My first Slender-short, "The House" EmptySun Dec 16, 2012 7:34 pm

Slender Man morphsuits... I did not know this was a thing.
Kinda fits with the whole "his suit is his skin" thing, but I find it looks odd. Especially where the "shirt" transitions to the neck and where the cuffs would be on actual suit sleeves.
...And the whole legs, really.

BUT THIS IS MORPHSUIT CRITICISM, NOT CRITICISM ON YOUR SHORT so I should probably get myself on topic.

There wasn't a whole lot to go on, but from the youtube description I gather this is something like a teaser trailer? If so I'll reserve questions like "what's she doing sneaking around dark houses in the middle of the night?" for when there's an actual story going on.

I will say that I enjoyed the lowest budget teleportation effect ever, where the girl blocks the camera as she's coming up the stairs and Slendy probably just steps into position behind her.
Simple and effective. Very Happy
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DarkShadows
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My first Slender-short, "The House" Empty
PostSubject: Re: My first Slender-short, "The House"   My first Slender-short, "The House" EmptySun Dec 16, 2012 7:37 pm

Eerie, and actually works well for a short. I like how you played with the narrowness of the staircase as well as the light from the flashlight.

My only complaint is that it felt a bit generic. It felt like it could have come from any horror movie out there. I would have liked to see at least a few little subtle Mythos touches, such as maybe some object the flashlight shines on making the Operator symbol in shadow, or even some creepy drawings or something.

Either way, I like it, and you kept the tension subtle and building. I was just waiting for Slendy to pop up and was seriously anticipating a jumpscare at the end.
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mylord.reign
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My first Slender-short, "The House" Empty
PostSubject: Re: My first Slender-short, "The House"   My first Slender-short, "The House" EmptyMon Jan 21, 2013 12:47 am

Found it really good for a short, a little subtle, would have liked slendy to have popped out from right behind her or something, would have liked to see a little fear in the girl, fear in the people produce fear and, oddly enough, intrigue in the watchers, but again very well done Very Happy Very Happy


Last edited by mylord.reign on Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:49 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : missed something)
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sethlapod555
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My first Slender-short, "The House" Empty
PostSubject: Re: My first Slender-short, "The House"   My first Slender-short, "The House" EmptyMon Jan 21, 2013 1:56 am

Wow, you guys actually did a terrific job on it. I wasn't even bothered by the fact that there wasn't really a story to it, it was just eerily chilling all in itself.

One thing I would have changed is the Slender Man's costume. Sure it was an actual Slender Man costume, but it was still a morphsuit. I recommend pulling together a full-fledged suit for the next time you wanna do something like this, because it definitely was a great short.

EDIT: It kinda reminded me of my fears as a young child, and my fears even now, of exploring a house in the dark alone. Or even being in the dark alone. Or being alone. Or being in the dark. All of those things scare me.

All of those things definitely worked in your favor of making me fearful.
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https://www.youtube.com/drstevzious117
deaddoll00
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My first Slender-short, "The House" Empty
PostSubject: Re: My first Slender-short, "The House"   My first Slender-short, "The House" EmptySun Feb 03, 2013 6:16 pm

Thank you very much for the nice feedback Smile Yeah, we're just some friends that decided to give it a shot, so we didn't really include a story or anything too complex, as we we just trying to go for an overall creepy scene. We'll likely also put together an actual suit sometime in future and try to incorporate some of his mythos once we try doing something a bit more complicated, though largely we made this due to getting our hands on a morphsuit, which was a great opportunity for us. Thanks again!
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Etreo
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My first Slender-short, "The House" Empty
PostSubject: Re: My first Slender-short, "The House"   My first Slender-short, "The House" EmptySun Feb 03, 2013 6:28 pm

This was a nice short, though there were a few niggling things.

"Aw, this is a nice wall. Lets point my torch at it."
"The light is shining into my eyes... Better point it there some more..."
"That's a huge light shining to my right. Meh, probably my imagination."
"Golly Gee that's some clean glass on this door. Nice cieling too."

It was a tense short though, very well done. Better than I could have done.
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My first Slender-short, "The House" Empty
PostSubject: Re: My first Slender-short, "The House"   My first Slender-short, "The House" Empty

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