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 Slender Blog Critiques

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Broeckchen
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Fri Jun 10, 2011 10:03 am

For personal partners, I thought a seperate thread might be more appropriate. This here is more about published blogs at this point anyway...
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Snore-De-Bliss
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:16 pm

I suppose I'll just drop on in and bump this topic by placing my (finished) blog up for a final critique:

Exhausted By Wackness, aka Invocation of Id, aka THIN AND WIDE CONQUER DIVIDES

Those are the various names it's been known by as the story has progressed. All comments are appreciated, and feel free to say anything you'd like, no matter how harsh it seems. I'm perfectly cool with handling critique.
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projectrallus
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Thu Jun 30, 2011 3:05 pm

I was wondering if anyone would be able to critique my blog. I've been looking for a good critic for a while now. I want to do well on this.
http://www.hiscollector.tumblr.com
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Aciidwire
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Thu Jun 30, 2011 3:11 pm

Whaaat abooout..
http://thefacelessone.tumblr.com
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Malus
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Thu Jun 30, 2011 7:14 pm

My blog is kind of a baby at the moment, but if someone wouldn't mind checking it out and critique it for me? If I'm doing anything wrong at the beginning, I don't want to continue making the same mistake through the entire blog. Please let me know!

My blog is down there.
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zero
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Thu Jun 30, 2011 8:00 pm

sure i'll do it, Malus

hmm, I notice a little repetition in the 2nd entry, ie: using 'Well' to start a paragraph twice. Granted this may be part of the character's writers block, but I'd suggest that Arthur has hammered into him the basic things to avoid, such as that. Then again he's in school still, but it's something to consider

Blank Space is actually a pretty good name for it, describing writer's block, and well...slendy, so I approve of that.

I'd say that the 'disappearances' was a pretty big red flag already. I dunno how to be subtle about it, but for us bloggers that's a flag.

Now, having not read further than this entry, I'll say that I think we needed to know more about Pierce before things turn to shit for him. I don't have a sense of him yet.


I really like the writing examples in the newest post, it felt a bit awkward mentioning slendy in there, but I would like to see Arthur do more of these writing examples, it really lends cred to the character

starting to get a bit more feel for the character, but not quite there. What's his home life like?
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Malus
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Thu Jun 30, 2011 8:15 pm

Thanks, Zero!

I understand about the disappearances, and of course that's going to send a red flag. I haven't mentioned it since because, well, I don't want it to become central to the plot yet. I'm not sure how to say this without giving away some of the plot, but the disappearances are going to play their part in a... new way. Rolling Eyes

Those first few entries were intentional, actually. In my recent post, he remarks on how the blog was supposed to help him with writer's block, not about what he's doing. So, he's going to be making a lot more of the writing entries. As for his home life, hrmm... Perhaps I can address this in my next blog post. Thanks, you just gave me an idea.

Also, I kind of wanted Arthur to be 'aware' of Slender Man, as in he knows what Slender Man is, but he just thinks he's some sort of Internet meme, not real. That's why he called his follower crazy for making a blog about running from Slender Man. This will come into play later, though.
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zero
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Thu Jun 30, 2011 8:44 pm

sounds like you've got things well in hand. All I can say is that we need to understand Arthur a bit more, and to keep up with those writing concepts, and he'll be well defined soon
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SliceandDice
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:02 pm

Look at this baka blog

maybe someone should critique it. I'm too busy though.

N-not that I like it or anything...

Or that I wrote it...


http://spotlightonstageleft.blogspot.com/
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LisaEvermore
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Sat Jul 09, 2011 7:31 pm

OK, nearly 8 months after creating it, I am ready to put it out there for you guys to know as mine. Hard Times Like These... is in fact, mine. Yeah, the beginning sucks. I know. That's why I denied ownership at first. I started it before I had the whole thing hammered out. Originally, I was going to have my sister help me out quite a bit, but the lazy bitch decided it was too much work.

ANYWAY, for anyone willing to spend some time reading it, I'd appreciate the feedback. I've been waiting for it to be reviewed since it went up on Chase's list but no one, that I know of, has read it--and more than likely because it is on livejournal and not the typical Blogger or tumblr. It was a conscious choice I made and I only slightly regret it now.

ANYWAY x2, reading/reviewing would be great. And hey! I've bitched about plenty of other people's blogs. Now is the time to seek your revenge! Wink
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Hakurei Ryuu
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Wed Jul 20, 2011 8:41 pm

SliceandDice wrote:
PIFTO- I fucking loved the first half of your blog. You went from making comments to 60 ravenous followers and a blog dedicated to interpreting you overnight. That's some shit! But, I think (who knows if this is true you cancelled it) the path it was going on wasn't as good as the way it was at first. The cryptic metaphors? RIGHTEOUS AS SHIT. Crossing over with Reach and Ava as intensely as you did, to me was a mistake. But again this is like critiquing an unfinished painting. I WAS SO UPSET WHEN YOU CANCELLED THIS BLOG.

Oddly enough, I felt the exact opposite. The cryptic metaphors were neat and all, but most of them were about events that I wasn't around yet to watch, and so I didn't understand a word of them without The Cataloger to help me out. It wasn't until Reach and Ava paid her a visit that Thage gained any realism for me, any actual depth. She was characterized more (and better) in other people's blogs than her own. The fact that updates were both short and infrequent didn't help me to identify with the character either. For that exact reason, it's STILL hard to identify with her. I just prefer it when emotions are reported on as well as events.

And one other...

Make It Count: Overall, very good, but the recent post concerning Cynthia made me cringe a bit. The thigh holster for the gun was narmy enough even WITH the lampshading, but... I don't know. It feels almost like it's going down the same path as Si vis pacem, para bellum - trying to make the main character into a gun-toting badass when, by all rights, this character should NOT have anything to do with violence. The ability to shoot a gun does not a strong character make, ladies and gentlemen. And by "strong character" I mean both personal strength and strength of characterization. But at least Celie managed to toss in her actual thoughts and emotions about having to raise a gun to a child... except that, y'know, she didn't ACTUALLY have to. How hard is it to obtain non-lethal weapons? Guns are serious business, and the fact that Celie didn't think of this beforehand sort of speaks of her immaturity, at least in my eyes.

Also, the attempt at a badass boast at the end of the encounter just... did not work. I'm sorry, but it didn't. It might have worked better, however, if I hadn't utterly forgotten about the whole "Wittness" business, considering the last time it was mentioned was... what, 3 months ago? There was really no indication that it had been given further thought since that kid was taken at the gas station or whatever.


Welp. I'm nervous, but lay it on me. Link is in the signature.
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Alder
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:46 am

Just asking: my first round of blogs are done. It was reviewed at a very early stage, but I'd appreciate it being critiqued in its entirety.
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PostSubject: Re: Slender Blog Critiques   Today at 6:30 pm

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