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 Winterland

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FacelessNightmare
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PostSubject: Winterland   Tue Apr 24, 2012 1:20 am

Alright...I've been trying to convince myself to link this in a good while. I've been a bit paranoid about backlash to be honest, because quite frankly, I know that I suck.

Anyway...Winterland, my first ever attempt at a Slenderblog. The blog writer/main character is Evan Iglesias, 16, soon to be 17 years old student, suffering from a mild case of Antisocial Personality Disorder (or ASPD. And yes, I have researched this). Slendy himself or some of the freaky stuff hasn't really started yet, but the main plot has started rolling.

I'm not allowed to post links yet, so just replace the [DOT]s below with a dot.

winterland-evangelion[DOT]blogspot[DOT]com
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RedXMoonXArcher
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PostSubject: Re: Winterland   Tue Apr 24, 2012 3:31 pm

I've read your blog and I have to say. It looks really cool. The backround has that mysterious feel to it, and this Evan character looks interesting. Nice touch with the scribbles on the walls of James's room. I can't wait to read more!
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BananaBrains
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PostSubject: Re: Winterland   Tue Apr 24, 2012 4:30 pm

Does it help if I say that this is by far not the worst thing I've ever seen/read? :'D

If I may offer some advice, I think that for a personal diary type of blog, Evan seems to really be focusing on James. I understand that James is his only friend but I feel that our protagonist needs more character-building and more of a personality. It's difficult for me to relate or connect to him because he hasn't revealed much about himself. If this is due to the ASPD, you might want to mention something about that. Right now it seems like he's got a case of the "moody teenager"s.

Unless,:
 

I am interested to see where this goes, though!
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FacelessNightmare
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PostSubject: Re: Winterland   Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:59 am

@Archer: Thank you for the positive feedback! I don't just want mindless praise tough. If you find any problems, feel free to tell me so.


@Banana: THANK YOU. THANK YOU. No, not any sarcasm or anything, seriously thank you. Yours is the EXACT kind of feedback that I was hoping for. I do realize that Evan's characterization is a bit off, it's one of my weakest points whenever I try to write something. I'll do my best to improve it tough.

And yea, one possible result of ASPD is refusal to open up yourself or give away any personal information. Just felt like adding that, altough it's not exactly clear in the story or anything, so it doesn't really change anything.
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BananaBrains
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PostSubject: Re: Winterland   Thu Apr 26, 2012 1:45 pm

I'm glad to be of help! And I am liking the slow progression into the weirdness. I'm looking forward to whatever might come next.
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FacelessNightmare
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PostSubject: Re: Winterland   Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:39 pm

I would also like to point out that, while appearing like a gamejacker, the "Doctor" account that has commented on the blog is highly canon, and I recommend following that as well.
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BananaBrains
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PostSubject: Re: Winterland   Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:37 pm

Ok I looked at the Doctor blog too and
Spoiler:
 
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FacelessNightmare
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PostSubject: Re: Winterland   Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:14 am

Oh, I'm sorry if this wasn't really made clear. The "Doctors" weren't
based on any character or creature, they were based on the actual Plague doctors of old.

Spoiler:
 

I may be unclear in the spoiler tab, but it's pretty early here, and I'm still waking up.
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BananaBrains
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PostSubject: Re: Winterland   Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:20 am

I am familiar with the idea of the Plague Doctor. The thing is, many people who are familiar with Slender Man are also aware of the Fear mythos. The Fears can sometimes include Slender Man but overall it's a classification for a few different creatures representative of basic concepts that many people are afraid of. Among the fears, there is the supernatural Plague Doctor. My concern is that readers might get confused and assume as I did that these doctors are meant to be the Fear.
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PostSubject: Re: Winterland   Today at 9:29 pm

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Winterland
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