So I started a series back in September (link in my sig) that was focused on some odd video effects that caught my eye when testing my old phone camera. The first video deals with my shadow overlapping a pillow's shadow I had out in the hallway. I thought it was cool so I started a channel with a name parodying Marble Hornets. After filming a flashlight beam in the crawlspace near my bathroom, I started getting views. My third video is (as of this post date) the most popular. It's shot at night in the hall where I was filming my brother just to annoy him, but the glare from the TV made his glasses light up and look like two blue eyes turning towards me. After that, I decided to make my videos into a sort of Slender Man series involving the Rake, and Slender Man. The series is a one person run series, so I play every single part. After my last few videos a friend of mine told me I should try to get a larger fan-base or something, so here I am posting one of those "Shameless self promotion" posts. Like I said before, the link to my series is in my signature. If someone can view it and give me feedback on what to do/keep etc, that would be greatly appreciated.
Last edited by Glassbeetles on Sun Aug 11, 2013 2:07 am; edited 2 times in total
Posts : 136 Current Win Points : 67 Join date : 2011-05-03 Age : 26 Location : North Carolina
Subject: Re: [NOT QUITE YET FINISHED SERIES] GlassBeetles Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:36 am
I've watched the first handful of videos on your channel, and if you are really considering making another series I'd like to give some constructive criticism because there are things I honestly think you need to work on.
First thing, I know you've stated this is semi-parody and that your first videos were testing things. However, I really do not recommend filming an entire series on your camera phone. It's dark and everything is pointing at walls and I honestly couldn't tell anything was there half the time. That is not the ingredients of an entertaining or scary clip, it is just...confusing.
Second thing, (and forgive me if I get this bit wrong as I only watched your first videos) you need some sort of storyline. Jump scares or creepy weird footage are nice, but alone they can only go so far. If they are not given context, they are just that, jump scares and creepy weird footage. I for one have watched tons of such things and it's not that memorable. What makes it memorable is if it is connected to a story, characters, events that fit together. You want to start establishing story as soon as you can or interest in your series will not hold up.
The third thing I want to bring up is that when you DO make your storyline, you should try to make it unique and interesting in regards to other series. There are /hundreds/ of Slenderseries out there. That in mind, you need to consider the question "What will make people take their time to view my series out of all of the ones out there?" Doing things that have been done tons of times before is not going to rake in views (ohohoho Rake *shot*). If possible this means you need to research what has been done before so your series can have a unique spin on it.
All that being said, the rake in the "eyes" video looked like it had potential to be interesting. I know you've marked this as semi parody, but even semi-parodies should still consider these things, otherwise those few views you are getting are just going to be the same and you will not be able to improve.
OH one more thing too, the way you put annotations on the videos pointing out where the rake is? That's a terrible idea and is a great way to make people want to watch your videos less. Just a thought.
Hope that all didn't seem to harsh >.< good luck with any future plans you have
Thanks for the input, it'll help me in future videos. I completely forgot about the annotations The videos were originally meant for shock value, but I got into the Slenderverse and stuff happened causing more than half of my videos to be removed. As for the story line, season two should introduce a set story line that I feel is pretty unique, and maybe a bit too much. I actually "killed" the Rake in "END_THE_DISTRIBUTOR.wmv", but I guess if you want I could bring it back. On my facebook account I take suggestions from friends on what to do in the series so I might end up bringing the Rake back and just saying the blood at the end of the video was from a wound. Thanks again for the constructive criticism
(Also, be as harsh as you like, I don't mind if someone tells me everything wrong in a "mean-sounding" way.)
Ah yes, I see then. Apologies again for not having watched all the videos before typing my reply (I was in a hurry this morning, had errands to run)
I can totally understand the whole getting into the 'verse thing, it can be daunting at first, at least it was for me haha. But yeah it's good to hear you have considered things and planned, I don't want to interfere with any of your storyline, you should do what you think is best! :3
I have a set ending planned, but as for what goes on between now and Encounter 20, I have no idea. Getting some input and suggestions as to what to do is my main task before uploading my first official encounter of season 2. As of now, I was asked to (yeah this is crazy) introduce new pasta monsters such as Jeff the Killer and Smiledog. Honestly at this point any suggestion that I feel works with the ending can be incorporated into the series so there really is no way to interfere with the story. The only setbacks I have is the rule I set for myself to create a one-man-run series so... yeah.
Update on the series: It's almost over. I've had to change some of the plot since I first posted this but w/e. As for the end, if you've seen "The Birds will Sing" you might have kind of an idea as to what is going on.
L0P0A0G was me but died after the first encounter with Slenderman.
Me (as in current camera bro) woke up after L0P0A0G died during Untitled.MP4 and is destined to become the dimension's DISTRIBUTOR (slenderman)
TheShadowstheymock was idiot future me who was spawned because i did a bad job at playing by the rules, but failed when encountering me and became player 1 (The Rake)
Now Michael that is still michael has to avoid being killed and becoming THE DISTRIBUTOR (slenderman) and killing original michael who is now L0P0A0G. THIS MEANS that the current DISTRIBUTOR is going to be spawning everything that has the power to kill me such as probably nothing...
BOB, THE POCKET,SOME HOODED KILLER (technically Jeff), EYELESS JACK, SOME DARK ENTITY, AND ANOTHER RAKE (with black skin and red eyes probably)
These^ will show up, but not during the main plot line.
Last edited by Glassbeetles on Sun Jun 23, 2013 4:48 pm; edited 1 time in total