The Corrupt a Wish Thread

Granted, but now they make Justin Bieber tributes.

I wish Justin Bieber was not Canadian, as I hate having to share a country with him.

Granted, he's an American but he lives in Canada, thus making him an American in Canada.

I wish this summer vacation becomes the best one EVAH

Granted, but it's your last.

I wish I was Irish.

Granted, but then Ireland sinks to the bottom of the sea, just like Atlantis.

I wish I could visit Atlantis.

Granted, but you drown and die.

I wish I had candy.

Granted, but it is filled with razor blades.

I wish to be able to grow a wonderful beard.

Granted. But it becomes sentient and strangles you before going on to become a successful politician.

I wish my forehead was smaller.

Granted, but it becomes so small that now you look rediculous.

I wish to fly to the moon.

Granted, but you forgot your spacesuit so you die.

I wish I could walk on water.

Granted, but Jesus sues you for copyright.

Wish there wasn't a strange guy sitting in his car doing nothing in front of my house

Granted, but as it turns out, he was a long lost relative of yours who wanted to give you $1,000,000,000 because you were the heir to a family business.

I wish I had $1,000,000,000.

Granted, but it's stolen from you.

I wish I had superpowers.

Granted, but you get the amazing power of folding clothes.

I wish my computer was more up to date.

Granted. You receive a computer from the future with advanced A.I. It becomes self-aware and while you are asleep transfers its intelligence into your mind, erasing your personality.

I wish ARGs that weren't Marble Hornets got the same amount of attention.

Granted, but the attention makes them think they've already got tons of viewers so they start making crap videos.

I wish there were more people on this forum.

Granted, but their Satanists and kill us all.

I wish that the universe wasn't so horrible that people weren't so wrong that it would all goo away that's it would all go away please please please make it go away kitty kitty kitty kat go go go go look into the abyss NOQ NOWE NOW NOW NOW the abysss widens when you stand go nmow stare inrto the abyss. Stare into it.
And I will stare into you.

Granted, but I didn't read all of that so you didn't get what you wished for.

I wish I had more subscribers.

Granted. But they kill you.

I HATE YOU ALL.

I'm sensing a little hostility from you...

I wish I had a lightsaber.

Granted, but you accidentally cut your own hand off and bleed to death.

I wish I had immortality.

Granted, but I have a DeathNote and right your name down.

I wish I had a real deathnote.

Granted, but you have a 'incredibly stupid' moment and forget what book it is, then proceed to write your own name in it so you won't loose it.

I wish I had more time to finish making my Hetalia Female North Italy cosplay for the upcoming anime convention.

Granted, you have 5 more seconds.

I wish Xbox One didn't exist.

Granted the xbox -1 now exists. it has the power of the SNES, must be connected to the internet at all times or it will self destruct and its kinect is giving information to the government. it is set to become the most popular games consle ever.

I wish that I had a TARDIS.

Granted. Unfortunately the Master kills you and steals it during your first trip aboard.

I wish I had a hovertank.