Family Portraits

Hey there, guys. I decided to try and make my own Slender-blog. I've only gotten two posts in, so no Mr. Happy yet. I plan on doing a build up to his reveal. So any ways, things are going to be slow for a while, but they'll pick up, I promise. Any advice or criticism in this early age would be most welcome.

http://famportraits.blogspot.com/

Personally I would have had the girls run away on the day of the killing and then take a few days to find them. Small children surviving on the streets for a month in the US exceeds my boggle factor. I'm not saying it wouldn't or doesn't happen just that it exceeds my ability to comprehend and accept and thus spoils my acceptance of the narrative.

Secondly if the girls had been on the streets a month and their mother had permitted them to remain outwith the home all that time (brutal fuckwit of a partner or not) it is doubtful that the girls would be returned to her without first at least a brief stay in hospital and then social/child services.

Cool story, bro.
I meant that though.
I think you should of introduced Kristen in the P.D. as you were introducing Kristen her/his self.
(Kristen can be a guys name)
I also think Kristen was a little to pushy when telling the kids their father was dead.
All in all, it`s pretty good idea.

Ladnek wrote:

Thanks for the advice, guys. I'll try to edit it to make it more believable. And once again, thanks for giving it a read!

Scratch Kirsten out, I accidently thought the main char. was Kirsten.
I meant Harold

Good luck on your project my friend.