Posts : 12 Current Win Points : 13 Join date : 2014-01-26 Age : 36
Subject: Observe Repress Sun Jan 26, 2014 5:56 pm
Hey Slendernation, I hope this is what I'm supposed to do but I have recently started a slenderman channel on YouTube and wanted to share about it
I've put up two videos
and
I hope you guys take a look and give me your thoughts on how I can improve the series moving forward, I hope to put up a new episode every week
metal rider Untainted
Posts : 12 Current Win Points : 13 Join date : 2014-01-26 Age : 36
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Tue Feb 04, 2014 4:50 pm
new video
Tiro1000 Watched
Posts : 271 Current Win Points : 146 Join date : 2011-08-14 Age : 36 Location : Dispatcher
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:00 pm
Just watched through the three videos so far, and here is my input.
Spoiler:
It is a nice touch to have someone actually researching Slenderman, instead of your typical vlog where he shows up and starts affecting the person's life from there. The report in the second video also did sound well written.
There are just a few things that I'm not sure about. As someone had pointed out in the comments, the camera in the second video was out of focus. My wife did point out that you did sound like you were reading from a script, but I realize that it probably was meant to sound like you were reading from a report. However, there were a quite a few instances of stammering with the words. I couldn't tell if the that was intentional or not. My advice here is rehearsal is key, and don't be afraid to do multiple takes.
I did notice a typo or two in the text videos. Make sure to double check your work, that can go for anything.
The last thing: I can't quite see what the premise of this series is, the talk of the session, the report, and the dream. This can be both a good thing or a bad thing, and may get explained over the course of the series. As for now though, I'm pretty confused.
It's too early on to say anything conclusive, but this has potential. I would love to see where this goes, so keep it up!
NearTheEnd Blackout
Posts : 541 Current Win Points : 217 Join date : 2011-10-01 Age : 30 Location : Cat Planet
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:41 pm
Hi. First off, I gotta say that double-posting is kinda frowned upon, but don't worry you're not in trouble or nothin'. Just letting you know. Also, please keep up with posting because plugging and running's not cool, either. (Not accusing you of it, just gotta make sure you don't post a couple things and then leave, you know?) As far as the series goes, it'll be in the spoiler.
Spoiler:
As my husband said, I did think it sounded like you were reading from a script. Even if that's what you were going for, it could've sounded a bit more professional. But I'm a stickler for acting, so hey who knows. Also, again, as he said, I don't get the premise for the series. A lot of series nowadays suffers from a "filming for the sake of filming a Slenderman Series" syndrome. Why did you start filming? Is it a real-life scenario as to why someone would film? Honestly, not to be rude, but right now it kind of seems you're filming something just for the sake of filming a slenderman series. Maybe the reason behind you filming will be explained and that point will be moot, but for right now, that's what I'm seeing.
metal rider Untainted
Posts : 12 Current Win Points : 13 Join date : 2014-01-26 Age : 36
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Thu Feb 06, 2014 6:08 pm
Sorry I didn't realize what I did counted as double posting I'll make sure not to do it again, and thanks for all of the tips on my series hopefully all of the questions will be answered satisfactorily when they get answered, eventually. I wish I had an answer for the out of focus thing because when I shot and edited it it was in focus then when I uploaded it, it kept doing that so eventually I left it
NearTheEnd Blackout
Posts : 541 Current Win Points : 217 Join date : 2011-10-01 Age : 30 Location : Cat Planet
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Thu Feb 06, 2014 6:31 pm
metal rider wrote:
Sorry I didn't realize what I did counted as double posting I'll make sure not to do it again, and thanks for all of the tips on my series hopefully all of the questions will be answered satisfactorily when they get answered, eventually. I wish I had an answer for the out of focus thing because when I shot and edited it it was in focus then when I uploaded it, it kept doing that so eventually I left it
Yeah, youtube is weird like that sometimes. And don't worry, like I said you're not in trouble. Just letting you know c: And yeah I'm sure it'll be answered but right now its just not all connecting. But it is early on. I do thank you for the original content, I've not seen a series been approached like this before. May I ask what series you have seen?
metal rider Untainted
Posts : 12 Current Win Points : 13 Join date : 2014-01-26 Age : 36
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Fri Feb 07, 2014 12:55 am
Thanks, I started with Tribetwelve then Marble Hornets and am currently working through EverymanHybrid and MLAnderson0 then who knows
NearTheEnd Blackout
Posts : 541 Current Win Points : 217 Join date : 2011-10-01 Age : 30 Location : Cat Planet
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Fri Feb 07, 2014 12:16 pm
Well when you decide to branch out, give these a looksee: Slenderman Vlogs: 1. Tulpa Effect 2. OneBadDream 3. SAParanormalHunters 4. Osiris Chronicles 5. Tea13Time
Fear Mythos: 1. TheUndecidedFive 2. Pavel Hall 3.TrialOfLeaves 4. Lost Souls 5. Entropy
Fear Mythos has some other scary creatures such as Slenderman and it gives you a little more to play with besides just one antagonist. I find it very interesting and fun to do.
metal rider Untainted
Posts : 12 Current Win Points : 13 Join date : 2014-01-26 Age : 36
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Wed Feb 12, 2014 8:39 pm
So this is the new entry that I know you've all been waiting for
Update:
Video put up today
Tiro1000 Watched
Posts : 271 Current Win Points : 146 Join date : 2011-08-14 Age : 36 Location : Dispatcher
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Sun Feb 16, 2014 7:08 pm
Just caught up with the past few videos.
Spoiler:
The tulpa explanation was a good place to start, and was a decent explanation of the theory. I also have never heard of the Phillips experiment, so that was pretty cool.
As for the sighting video, I like the idea of feeling something different and going straight to filming your surroundings. It shows that the protagonist knows about the distortion that Slenderman causes, and uses that to detect his presence. Nicely done in that aspect.
Now onto my criticisms, which I intend to keep constructive.
Spoiler:
I'm finding it hard not to get confused with the situation of this series. First we have experiment logs and reports which give it a professional view, and then we have malfunctioning camera phones and walks to the store that make it feel more like a regular vlog. I suppose that can all go with the safe house and laying low aspect, but at this point it's hard to tell where it is going.
Now I will go onto my biggest criticism, the writing style of the text portions. Mostly the last card of the sighting video: "I think Slenderman my have caught on to my ambitions and is sending his turned minions after me, I will have to increase my securities." It's hard to put my finger on what it is about that statement, but it just feels off. Like it's hard to roll off the tongue. It's hard for me to say yay or nay on the way you write because you know the character better than me. But if I had to say one thing that has me wanting to see more of this, it's the professional feel. It's the same feeling I get when I read articles from the SCP Foundation. I really liked the report from Initial Observations. If I were to write that text card I would have said: "It is my belief that the Slenderman may have knowledge of what it is that I intend to do, based on the increased presence and activity of his proxies. I will have to exercise more caution in future attempts at research and other activity."
And lastly, make sure you double check your work. I wouldn't count proper spelling and grammar as the most important thing in a series, but it goes a long way for holding immersion. Having to stop and realize that a word is spelled wrong, or a sentence is stated incorrectly, does take me out of the immersion a bit.
That does cover it though. I do want to see where this goes, so keep it up!
metal rider Untainted
Posts : 12 Current Win Points : 13 Join date : 2014-01-26 Age : 36
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Mon Feb 17, 2014 12:04 am
Spoiler:
Yes I can see how the language style thing can be distracting, however there is a rational behind it that will be further elaborated upon in the next couple videos but for a simple version, the sighting video was more of an observation note taken about the encounter as opposed to a full report on it if that makes sense, there are other reasons in addition to that but as I said I'll touch on them later
thank you for the thoughts, and don't worry I take everything as a way to make the series better
metal rider Untainted
Posts : 12 Current Win Points : 13 Join date : 2014-01-26 Age : 36
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Mon Feb 24, 2014 8:50 pm
Sorry about double posting but I couldn't really put this in my last post
TailsFoxy Slendervet
Posts : 1340 Current Win Points : 424 Join date : 2012-04-24 Age : 36 Location : Germany
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Sun Mar 23, 2014 6:59 pm
So we have a new video here:
metal rider Untainted
Posts : 12 Current Win Points : 13 Join date : 2014-01-26 Age : 36
Subject: Re: Observe Repress Sun May 04, 2014 3:50 pm