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Trial of Leaves: Justin
TribeTwelve: Bridge to Nowhere
Dark Harvest: Log Entry #33
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 using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world.

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miketow123
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miketow123


Posts : 16
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Join date : 2012-10-10
Age : 29

using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. Empty
PostSubject: using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world.   using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. EmptyWed Oct 10, 2012 9:15 pm

ok so far I am doing two assingments for my WC course and I am using slender for it.

the first one is a short story that has to be based on a picture

Brandon Darkly's sister moved out one day. all of her stuff was gone and her room was empty. three months later her begins to attempt to find her. the first assignment will be a short story of him searching around after the fact and trying to put the peices together.

the whole thing I want is that Brandon is chosen by the slendy. everyone chosen by slendy are compulsed towards spreading influence by infecting others. those infected are "addicted" showing others the slender. His sister has hundreds of journals full her writing down things, her drawings etc.

the second one is a journal with 12 entries by a character
this journal will be one Brandon found, and it will be one of her first journals. my favorite part is that I am going to ABUSE this journal before I hand it in. (I.E burn half of the first couple pages, spill fake blood onto a lot of the pages , tear pages out, take a cigarette and jab a page.)

of course it the pages that I have to hand in will be readable, though


so, what do you think?



EDIT: sorry if this is in the wrong forum....
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DaLadybugMan
Blackout
DaLadybugMan


Posts : 565
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Join date : 2010-12-28
Age : 33
Location : Now I am everywhere

using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. Empty
PostSubject: Re: using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world.   using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. EmptyWed Oct 10, 2012 10:38 pm

I am not here to help people with their homework.
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http://slenderbloggins.net
XuchilVith
Stalked
XuchilVith


Posts : 300
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Join date : 2011-06-24
Age : 34
Location : The Otherworld

using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. Empty
PostSubject: Re: using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world.   using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. EmptyWed Oct 10, 2012 11:32 pm

It sounds fine, except for two things;

1. His name is Slenderman. Not Slender. Maybe those are just typos, idk, but there has been an influx of people lately referring to the creature as "Slender" because of the game. Don't call him that, it's confusing and incorrect.

2. I hope you don't do your writing projects the way you type on here.

Otherwise it sounds pretty neat.
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miketow123
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miketow123


Posts : 16
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Join date : 2012-10-10
Age : 29

using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. Empty
PostSubject: Re: using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world.   using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. EmptyThu Oct 11, 2012 8:27 am

Well I didn't know that the people on these forums are so hostile. I was just asking for feedback about my idea and all I got was personal criticisms. oh and I thought is was in the rules state not to insult someone on their grammar. I just simply want to get my message across, not write like I would in school. Personally, I thought better of this community. Apparently I shouldn't have.
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BananaBrains
Taken
BananaBrains


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using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. Empty
PostSubject: Re: using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world.   using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. EmptyThu Oct 11, 2012 11:56 am

miketow123 wrote:
oh and I thought is was in the rules state not to insult someone on their grammar.

She was making constructive criticism about your writing project. The way someone types on the internet is more excusable than a person typing poorly in a work of fiction they want to present.

Also you've been here not even two days, which is hardly enough time to have gotten an accurate impression of this community. I'm not sure what you expected, but people around here are used to giving constructive criticism in order to help people better their works. That's all they're doing now.


Last edited by BananaBrains on Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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miketow123
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miketow123


Posts : 16
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using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. Empty
PostSubject: Re: using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world.   using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. EmptyThu Oct 11, 2012 12:08 pm

I guess Ill have to check myself before I wreck myself. never mind I guess.
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XuchilVith
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XuchilVith


Posts : 300
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Join date : 2011-06-24
Age : 34
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using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. Empty
PostSubject: Re: using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world.   using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. EmptyThu Oct 11, 2012 1:40 pm

Just giving you some honest feedback. Sorry if it wasn't what you wanted to hear. :/
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Cougar Draven
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Cougar Draven


Posts : 333
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using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. Empty
PostSubject: Re: using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world.   using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. EmptyThu Oct 11, 2012 1:47 pm

I. No. I mean. What.

You have no idea how lucky you are I didn't get to this first.
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http://cougardraven.tumblr.com/
miketow123
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miketow123


Posts : 16
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Age : 29

using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. Empty
PostSubject: Re: using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world.   using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. EmptyThu Oct 11, 2012 5:45 pm

I'm sorry if what I said offended anyone and I take it back. I was in a bad head space and I shouldn't of launched my attitude at others. I have made a horrible first impression upon this community and i guess that can never be changed. unfortuantly I can't delete my own topic so I guess that me saying this is all I can do.
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using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. Empty
PostSubject: Re: using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world.   using slender for a writers craft assingment. would like feedback from the slendy world. Empty

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