A Game of Thrones of Breasts. (The Mr Fib RP.)

Zanderp decides to fuck the police and do an acrobatic fucking pirouette onto the SPACE SHIP THING. Clearly the best option. But not before sacrificing Eury to the Queen Salad Gimp.

From the combined assault of Poni's GREAT BITCH SLAP OF THE HEAVENS, The Admiral's THROWING-URG and Zanderp's GRACEFUL PIROUETTE and DRAMATIC SACRIFICE, the GREATER QUEEN CABBAGE-GIMP explodes all over the place.

As the leafy green giblets settle, we may now survey the damage.

The Admiral's THROWING-URG landed directly nowhere near the GREATER QUEEN CABBAGE GIMP (because his THROWING skill is -9000) and caused 0 damages. Lightning Bolt suffers a broken wrist, and slight embarrassment.

JonURGathon hits a small rock a little away from the QUEEN, and falls victim to a few bruises, and a concussion.

Poni has a FAVOURITISM stat of 10, and so was able to succesfully bitch-slap the QUEEN, and escapes injury of any kind, except perhaps for the eternal mental scarring of seeing a GREATER QUEEN SALAD GIMP explode.

Zanderp is propelled into the air, but, thanks to his SKIRT - which catches the wind - he floats down safely. The only downside is that, as this happens, everyone else is given a view of his TACKLE.

Zanderp has a new status effect: FALSE SENSE OF SMUGNESS. (See also: NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF.)

Eury is messily devoured in the GREATER QUEEN CABBAGE GIMP's FINAL ACT.

Oops.

Anicus almost has a glorious wank, but unfortunately he gets distracted by the fight at the last second.

Anicus has a new status effect: BLUE BALLS.

The SPACE SHIP THING is now lying still and undisturbed in the dust and wreckage...

DROP ITEMS AHOY:

ZANDERP! ITEM GET!: BEDAZZLED RUBY HIGH HEELS.

ANICUS: LOTION.

JONURGATHON: A GOLDEN SNITCH.

NEDARK: A CARTON OF CIGARETTES, AND A HEART CONTAINER.

Yet again with his fast thinking, the Admiral looks back at his broken
Pickle. Using his lighting fast skillz he runs up to SPACE SHIP THING
and attempts to pilot it away, giving everybody on the ground the middle
finger.

LEVEL UP!

PONI HAS EVOLVED INTO "LEVEL 3 MARSUPIAL."

ANICUS HAS EVOLVED INTO "AGENT OF CHAOS."

Pryex wrote:

Yet again with his fast thinking, the Admiral looks back at his broken
Pickle. Using his lighting fast skillz he runs up to SPACE SHIP THING
and attempts to pilot it away, giving everybody on the ground the middle
finger.

Nothing happens.

The Admiral continues trying to steal the ship. In order to raise his SPACE SHIP STEALING SKILL. He is unsure if this ship is ever sea/space worthy.

Zanderp smirks at the new BEDAZZLED RUBY HIGH HEELS he just received, then glanced at the other two who had leveled up. He was slightly jealous, but this didn't matter. He decided to run over to the SPACE SHIP THING to see if it still worked first, in case it was damaged after the battle.

Poni sees the admiral trying to pilot the ship while ditching the rest of the group behind.
This is not going to happen.

"Oh you are not leaving me here, nope."

She suddenly whips her familiar, a catlike creature, out of seemingly nowhere (A hidden pouch, perhaps??), and throws it at the Admiral's face.

Anicus quickly rubs the cream against his glorious doucheballs.

A wave of relief flies over him and semen flies over John.

After he finishes his glorious business in the name of masturbatory glory and sees that The Admiral has tried to steal the Giant Vagina Salad Ship.

Filled with anger, Anicus runs up to The Admiral and forces him to use his magical tampon stead.

Upon doing so The Admiral is left immobile due to the magical tampon fixed in his ass.

He calls his comrades over and has them join him in the ship.

The Admiral is thrown in the poop deck, which is literally filled with shit.

Six grabs the CARTON OF CIGARETTES and his HEART CONTAINER before dashing onto the ship. Once on board, he pours himself a nice, frosty glass of CIGARETTES from the CARTON OF CIGARETTES.

GAME LOG:

ANICUS' DICKERY LEVEL HAS INCREASED!
ANICUS' DECADENCY HAS INCREASED!
ANICUS' INDECENCY HAS INCREASED!
BLUE BALLS WORE OFF!
ANICUS' INFAMY HAS INCREASED!
ANICUS IS DISGUSTING!
JEEBLES IS DISGUSTING!
MORIARTY IS DISGUSTED!

ANICUS IS NOW A COCK CAPTAIN FIRST CLASS!

Poni, now scarred for life by whatever was going on with Anicus, shudders and drags herself and the unconscious body of the one called Jonathan onto the ship. She reminded herself to also take a shower ASAP. Ugh.

She also fetches her kitten off of the twitching Admiral.
Yes, definitely going to need a shower...

Zanderp watches in awe. Clearly, this Anicus fellow is not to be trifled with. At least not yet. He heads into the ship and puts away his Ruby High Heels and pulls out his Rave Stick, shaking it furiously to calm his nerves. After a moment, he decides to look for a shower to clean off some of the Salad gunk.

All the players are now on-board the SPACE SHIP THING.

Someone will need to set a course for either:

PLANET FANTASY, DRAGON SECTOR.

LOS PLANETOS.

CALZODCOCKTICUS.

Round two will cover events on the ship, during the voyage to whichever planet is chosen.

Six walks over to the controls, still sipping his CIGARETTES and clutching his HEART CONTAINER. He peers at them, reading each of the three destinations on the wheel, before giving it a hard spin, watching it go around and around, becoming bored, and walking away before it finishes.

At the helm of the ship, Anicus decides to steer the ship to BUKKAKE, THE LAND OF LITERAL FACES, COVERED IN LITERAL SEMEN. LITERALLY.

THE STEERING SYSTEM BECOMES UNRESPONSIVE TO ANICUS' TOUCH.

ON GROUNDS OF HUMAN DECENCY.

Poni, having no real interest in where the ship is going, wanders off to find a shower. . . . .

Zanderp proceeds to find the showers, and stores all of his clothing and items in one of the lockers. Now naked, he jumps in and proceeds to wash the salad gunk off his body.

Zanderp and Poni succeed in finding showers.

SEPARATE SHOWERS.

But they only have cold water.


Oh, and that wasn't a locker.




That was an air-lock.

The glorious Admiral lies on the ground twitching, Sean Bean laughing at him, and a jizz covered Urging thing next to him. Sean Bean is being a BASTARD and won't remove the tampon. He'll have to be killed in some kind of heroic last stand/bar fight.

A TREMENDOUS ASPLODION rocks the ship.

Something, no SOME THINGS have latched onto the side of the craft.

You are under ATTACK by BASTARD PIRATES.

The cold water runs down the Derp's body, washing away the salad gunk and causing his excitement levels to rise to their peak. He hopped out the shower just in time to catch Poni hopping into her own shower. Smirking, he opened the locker to retrieve his [REDACTED], and noticed that the locker was actually an air-lock. He summoned his familiar Chuck Norris, and proceeded to rush outside to fetch his items. Looking around, he saw the BASTARD PIRATES attacking the ship, and some of them had acquired his things. He took off after them.

Also, the HEAT from the ASPLODION has caused the TAMPON to FUSE to The Admiral's ASS.

He is now, as Joie put it: "A MANPON."
































LEVEL UP!