A Game of Thrones of Breasts. (The Mr Fib RP.)

Right, sooo....


Poni RUNS towards JAN the WAZARD flailing her arms in a WINDMILL technique.
JAN the WAZARD sticks out a high-heel booted leg and TRIPS her OVER.
Poni TUMBLR TUMBLES into a SEWAGE DITCH, full of the RUN-OFF from JAN's CASTLE.

yuck

Anicus CANNOT go and masturbate in a CORNER because he is in a GREAT BIG FUCK OFF FIELD.
WHERE ARE THE CORNERS?!
NO.


AND DON'T MENTION THE TIME CHANGE.

THE clouds OPEN, and a RAINSTORM OF CAPITAL LETTERS FALLS FROM THE HEAVENS>

Most of them FALL on ANICUS.

Bam

And now, for my new favourite...

Well, a number of things go wrong here:

1. The Admiral is DISORIENTATED and CANNOT focus on the DIFFICULT INCANTATION required to SUMMON that most MIGHTY of TRANSFORMING ROBOTS.

2. OPTIMUS PRIME ABHORS the use of TOBACCO, and the ADMIRAL is currently SMOKING a cigar with his EYE.

3. Since the ADMIRAL no longer possess a set of GENITALS, and is therefore unworthy. UNWORTHY. UNWORTHY.


So that's what happened...

Seeing as he is currently unable to summon Otimus Prime. He goes for the next best thing. MEGAWTRAWN.

Hopefully this one will work s he's never done it before and thinks he said the name wrong.

The Admiral is 100% successful in SUMMONING MEGAWTRAWN.

Or rather...

He WOULD be. If MEGAWTRAWN was a THING.
But it's not.

Seriously. Don't be ridiculous, everyone knows that there's no such thing.

As MEGAWTRAWN is not a thing. The Admiral uses his IMAGINATION.

*Sigh*

LUCKILY for TheAdmiralCheesePlantManThing, he is CURRENTLY in a land where IMAGINATION collects and CONDENSES like HAIR in a shower's DRAIN HOLE.

So he receives a TEMPORARY 10+ STAT ADVANCEMENT to his 4 points of IMAGINATION.

Better hurry up and use that.

But BE CAREFUL not to OVERTAX your puny mind, MORTAL.

The Admiral uses his lucky boost to imagine MEGAWTRAWN. An imaginary robot steed appears, it turns into a wheelchair with hammers attached. This is actually quite useless...

Anicus imagines a corner and then masturbates while screaming our Moriarty's name in maniacal laughter.

YOU'VE BROKEN THE GAME
YOU'VE BROKEN THE GAME
YOU'VE BROKEN THE GAME
YOU'VE BROKEN THE GAME
YOU'VE BROKEN THE GAME
YOU'VE BROKEN THE GAME
YOU'VE BROKEN THE GAME
YOU'VE BROKEN THE GAME

Anicus contracts imaginary AIDs, and at the same moment a GREAT BIG FUCK OFF hole APPEARS in the SKY.

The admiralmounts his disabled robot steed. It's wheelchair begins to move at a steady pace. A steady slow pace. In the sky he can see the GREAT BIG FUCK OFF hole. KNowing that his douchebag buddy must be there, because they were linked on a molecular level by Sean BEan once, he heads towards his goal. VERY SLOWLY.

The HOLE begins to ROTATE, moving FASTER and FASTER.
It creates a SUCTION force, PULLING everything towards it.
JAN the WAZARD is the FIRST to GO, disappearing with a WAIL, and taking NIPPLE the BUTLER and a SIGNIFICANT portion of the PLOT with him.

ANICUS begins to tumble through the air towards the GAPING HOLE. SOMEONE should ACT QUICKLY in order to SAVE everyone's FAVOURITE DOUCHEbag.
PONI's DRAGON might just be able FLY from the POWER of the VORTEX. MIGHT.
The ADMIRAL is WEIGHED down by his ROBOT. But the FORCE is INCREASING, soon he will be SUCKED OFF into the VORTEX.

And trust me, you don't want that.

NEARBY, you can see a SHINY RED SPACE-FERRARI, it belongs to JAN the WAZARD. PERHAPS you can REACH it?

"ONWARDS MEGAWTRAWN". The admiral cries as the vortex begins pulling things into its gaping orifice. His crippled robot companion moves forward at a reasonable pace for somebody who is wheelchair bound. Sean Bean sits atop its head, muttering heroic nonsense.

his douchebag buddy is nearly lost forever, the Admiral makes a last ditch attempt. In a world of imagination, he imagines the SHINY RED SPACE FERRARI closer to him, creating a sort of bridge through space. A stargate if you will.

MEGAWTRAWN powers onwards. This is a truly epic journey, one that requires an epic sdoundtrack, as they move onwards towards the car at a reasonable TWO MILES AN HOUR.

Poni finally awakens, trying to remember what just happened. She seems to remember being tripped by a WIZARD in HIGH HEELS. She must have been knocked out by the fall. Or perhaps by Jan's WIZARDLY POWER. Who knows. Poni is dismayed to find herself in a sewage ditch, covered in disgusting substances at least the third time since the journey began.

However there appear to be greater problems at hand. In the sky, a huge VORTEX OF DOOM has appeared. Poni's dragon is nowhere in sight, though is seems the Admiral is somehow bending time and space to make a space ferrari move closer to the group. Anicus is tumblr tumbling closer to the vortex, but is too distracted because
...wait...what is he doing........

...well now Poni needs to wash her body AND her mind. The kangaroo-like girl begins to bounce in the direction of the BRIGHT RED SPACE CAR.

ANICUS soars INTO the VORTEX, still masturbating.
A LOUD BURP follows, and the VORTEX begins to SPIN FASTER.
IT SPINS RIGHT ROUND, RIGHT ROUND.
LIKE A RECORD.
RIGHT ROUND.
The Admiral's ROBOT STALLS violently, but luckily, the Grass-Admiral is ejected FORWARDS and lands just short of the SPACE-FERRARI.
He is now presented with a predicament.
WHICH SEAT will he TAKE?

The Admiral is faced with this DIRE CHOICE. THE GREATEST CHOICE OF HIS LIFE. His only option is to quickyl try ALL OF THE SEATS in numerous silly positions until he finds the correct one.

The time has come. His moment of glory. The Admiral switches on his moves...

LIKE JAGGER

The Admiral however is no idiot. He obviously picks the driver seat before DRIVING OFF TO SAVE PONI.

The Admiral is in the front seat, Sean Bean is kicking in the back seat. There is one place left to go.

INTO THE ABYSS TO SAVE THE UNIVERSES FAVOURITE DOUCHEBAG.

Poni has the car keys.

All of the awesome things lifted above would have happened. However, The Admiral does not have the keys. It is time to tap into his car stealing skills from his days in space Brooklyn.

He let's out a loud "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-". Sean Bean sits sternly before applying his seatbelt. All great heroes follow great road safety.

It is time to do this.

Poni approaches the car in a HOPPING motion. She arrives to discover the Admiral sitting in the front seat and pretending to drive, screaming "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" in a loud voice.
"Dear god he's finally lost it", Poni mutters, as she climbs into the passenger seat and casually pulls out the CAR KEYS she lifted from Jan after he time in the wizard's ENDLESS ABYSMAL POCKET.

"AHEM". . .
Poni clears her throat and dangles the keys in front of Lightningbolt.

AT LAST. The Admiral hastily grabs the keys and starts up the car. Sean Bean speaks some final words before their journey begins.



And with that they did begin their final quest. It was time to save the douchebag. Perhaps there would be some sort fo game break ultra item because the Admiral was still unarmed.

With his foot on the accelerator, the Admiral did speak.

"Be at peace, Son of Gondor"

The SPACE FERRARI flew towards the GREAT BIG FUCK OFF HOLE.

The SPACE FERRARI flies towards the GREAT BIG FUCK OFF HOLE.
Both the Grass Admiral and Poni are stuck with DUMB (0.5 sec status effect).

A SWIRLY blue and black TUNNEL is what they SEE, with possibly the FAINT sound of DRUMMING?

ANICUS can be seen further down the SWIRLY TUNNEL, still VIOLENTLY MASTURBATING.

You MUST press ONWARDS.

The Admiral is momentarily blinded by the lewd images ahea of him. Before realisng, douchebags do not in fact have penises. It truly is a miracle of science that Anicus can masturbate at all.

His foot firmly on the pedal he does indeed press ONWARDS in to the ABYSS. The drums grow yet louder. it's maddening. Luckily for the Admiral, he is already mad. Years of inhaling the fumes of deceased space pickles has destroyed his brain. He isn't sure what's real anymore.

ONWARDS TO GREAT VICTOLY

End of Round Whatever Number we're on.

This is the final pause.
The next Round is the last.
Prepare your bodies and minds.

In the immortal words of Michael "SmoothSpeedDemon" Jackson: "THIS IS IT."

Annicus feels quite rejuvenated after his two week masturbation session, he does seem to be having a bit of a problem with some seared meat though.

Anicus presses onward

Be ready.



The GREAT BIG FUCK OFF VORTEX

collapses.

SUDDENLY you are no longer moving, but all stood still on a NEW PLANET. A BARREN AND INFERTILE plain stretches on before you, as FAR as the EYE can see.

In the native TONGUE of those that once inhabited this place, it is called: THE PLAINS OF MENO'PA'USE.

BEFORE you, exactly SIXTY-NINE feet away, stands a HUGE and IMPOSING black FORTRESS, carved of pure OBSIDIAN.

It is the FORTRESS of MR FIB.



YOU have arrived. Within those walls sits the THRONE OF BREASTS.

The Admiral questions how he is now somehow stood on a barren planet when less than a minute ago he was SAT IN A CAR. What's worse is that now there is aooarently NO CAR.

CAHOOTS

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