A Game of Thrones of Breasts. (The Mr Fib RP.)

Jon/Ylgul/Joe/Urg is now dead, but the Chosen One of (.089% of) the Universe will live on in the hearts of his companions.

With a roar, Poni's new DRAGON companion suddenly unleashes a stream of flames and glitter upon the CUM DUMPSTER.

(Well at least we know where the glitter came from now. Any creature spawned in the pockets of JAN THE WIZARD is destined to be fabulous, after all)

Spoiler:

Unfortunately, Poni's embittered Kitten takes this MOMENT to sink it's ADORABLE and VICIOUS fangs into the SMALLISH DRAGON's ankle.

The BEAST ROARS in PAIN, and it's AIM is affected as it WRITHES.

The stream of MOLTEN GLITTER misses the main body of the CUM DUMPSTER, hitting it's LEFT WING instead, which DISSOLVES in FABULOUS GLORY.

The Admiral is currently stuck in the ground with frozen limbs. He mumbles into the ground at full volume.

"SMFE MFF SEMFF BMMFEEE!!!"

Obviously he wants his familiar to save him, but he is in a bit of a predicament.

The PINK CHEESE GRASS begins to stir.

Slowly, it's many BLADES begin to SHIFT and ELONGATE, WRAPPING themselves about The Admiral's LIMBS.

They BIND themselves to him TIGHTLY, and creep inside his BODY through every AVAILABLE ORIFICE.

He is LIFTED onto his FEET, and as the grass strands detach from the ground, the remain BOUND about him. He can now USE his LIMBS.

THE ADMIRAL IS NOW A PINK CHEESE GRASS COLONEL FIRST CLASS.

THE ADMIRAL IS NOW "IN TOUCH WITH NATURE".

THE ADMIRAL'S BOTANY SKILL INCREASED.

THE ADMIRAL IS NOW ONE WITH THE PINK CHEESE GRASS.

THE ADMIRAL SMELLS FAINTLY OF CHEESE.

Now that he is back to full power (incidently his power level is easily 8999) he reaches into his pockets and pulls out his two trusty weapons. With his cock-axe in one hand and his cuntsmasher in the other he combines them to form:

THE MIGHTY AXE OF HEMAPHRODITE

He glares at the BLUE EYES ULTIMATE CUM DUMPSTER before charging straight at it with his most powerful attack.

UNFORTUNATELY



The Pink Cheese Admiral has gone too long without exercising his LIMBS.
It will take more than some MAGIC GRASS to fully regain his coordination.









FORTUNATELY

As he FALLS ONTO HIS FACE, his new AXE goes spinning through the AIR.
It hits the BLUE EYES ULTIMATE CUM DUMPSTER squarely in the FACE, cleaving it betwixt the EYES.
PLUS: due to the THE MIGHTY AXE OF HERMAPHRODITE'S CHAOTIC NATURE its continues to spaz around the MIGHTY CUM DRAGON, causing massive DAMAGE, and scattering it's GIBLETS HITHER AND YON.


THE BLUE EYES ULTIMATE CUM DUMPSTER IS SLAIN.

Seeing the massive damage caused by his new weapon the Admiral decides to use his limbs again. Practise makes perfect. His obvious answer to this is to dance to 'Never gonna give you up'.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: "RICK ROLLED."

The DUST settles, and silence falls over the battlefield.

The Grass Admiral slowly lopes AWAY.

In the BACKGROUND, ANICUS and GARY BUSEY soar through the AIR, tumbling through THE BLUE EYE'S giblets and blood.

It is a truly BEAUTIFUL sight.

Anicus flies through the air, singing along with Elton John.

Quote :

She packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine a.m.
And I’m gonna be high as a kite by then
I miss the earth so much I miss my wife
It’s lonely out in space
On such a timeless flight

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I’m a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone


Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it’s cold as hell
And there’s no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science I don’t understand
It’s just my job five days a week
A rocket man, a rocket man


And I think it’s gonna be a long long time...

LOOT TIME!





ONE PAIR OF GENTLEMAN'S SPATS ARE AWARDED TO.....

Spoiler:

A GREAT BIG FUCK OFF HAMMER (requires one weapon to be dropped) APTLY NAMED: "THE WITTY RETORT" IS AWARDED TO......

Spoiler:

ONE TINY DANCER IS AWARDED TO......

Spoiler:

ONE TRAY OF GOLDEN PISTACHIOS, MADE FROM TINY, TINY HORSES IS AWARDED TO........

Spoiler:

___________


LEVELS UP!





ANICUS IS NOW A ROCKET MAN.

PONI IS NOW BLOOD OF THE DRAGON.

YEY.

BEGINNING OF THE NEW ROUND.


Anicus and his MAGICAL GARY BUSEY STEED soar majestically through the AIR. Eventually however, as the DELICIOUS sound of ELTON JOHN fades away, so does the flying.

Anicus and Gary crash into a MAUVE field outside a rather phallic looking TOWER.



Everyone else is still in the field, with JAN THE WAZARD.

The PLAYERS now have THREE OPTIONS.

a) Go with JAN THE WAZARD, to his tower.

b) Mug JAN THE WAZARD (you'll miss out on seeing his TOILET BOWL PROPHECIES).

c) Go see if Anicus and Gary need help.

d) Go home.

e) All of the ABOVE.

f) Donuts.

The Admiral chooses donuts. Failing that, all of the above.

Poni hops off her dragon, claiming her TRAY OF GOLDEN PISTACHIOS (that are made from tiny, tiny horses) and feeling the surge of leveling up running through her body (SO TINGLY.

Blinking, her mind is filling with choices, ranging from sensible, to strange, to mean, to...what the I don't even. She feels the ring of keys that she pocketed from her time in the pocket dimension (Pockets within pockets, yo), and her mind turns to devious plots. These keys likely unlock something of the WIZARD'S, likely something awesome, and as she does not really trust the rainbow bearded man, mugging him seems a good choice right now.

Anicus chooses to have sinful sex with Gary Busey.

Delicious.

JAN THE WAZARD beckons to the companions, and begins to SKIP towards the PHALLIC TOWER.

The Admiral cautiously follows JAN THE WAZARD. He is now unarmed and has only his wits about him.

Poni decides that now would be a bad time to try and get her MUG on, if it is even possible to mug the magical wizard...

She gathers herself up and spurrs her dragon into flight, pointing him in the direction the others are heading...

Thanks to The Admiral's WITS (stat of 3), he has JUST enough PRESENCE OF MIND to DUCK.

Poni soars over The Admiral, and collides with JAN THE WAZARD, tackling him from BEHIND.

Meanwhile, Poni's KITTEN, drops off the DRAGON, and lands on The Admiral's FACE. It EXTINGUISHES it's CUBAN CIGAR in The Admiral's eye, and begins to RANT about it's recent abandonment.

RP BEGINS AGAIN.

RE-CAP TIME.

PREVIOUSLY ON A GAME OF THRONES OF BREASTS.

Our HEROES find themselves strange and SENSUAL land, a land inhabited by one, JAN THE WAZARD.

A bit of a HOO-HAH occurs, involving some LARGE BEASTIES, a DRAGON, a KITTEN WITH ABANDONMENT ISSUES VOICED BY AL PACINO, and a few IDIOTIC ADVENTURERS.

HAVE AT IT.

The Admiral realises that a cigar was just shoved into his eye. He's now blind in one eye. This is not the best day of his life. He promptly responds by flailing and screaming.

Poni totally doesn't even notice her missing kitten. I mean she has a badass glitter-spewing dragon now! She flails aimlessly, hoping to somehow disable or pin JAN THE WIZARD and perhaps take him captive. Maybe then he can be convinced to help them find the way to THE THRONE.

Or something.

This entire journey hasn't made much sense so far anyways...

Anicus doesn't remember what the fuck happened the last three months and is confused as to why no one is aware of the missing time.

Anicus thought to hard and and decided to go masturbate in a corner.

Fliiping the fuck out has of course done nothing. Half of his face is burnt. He is blind in one eye. He's part plant. He no longer has a penis. He is unarmed. There remains but one thing to do.

The Admiral attempts to summon the mighty Optimus Prime.