The Corrupt a Wish Thread

Granted, but the answer doesn't make any sense.

I wish that I could sell some of the things in my room.

Granted, but you can only sell the things that you don't want to sell.

I wish I had a million dollars.

Granted, but the money was robbed from a bank, so now you are jailed.


I wish I had a hat.
Oh wait, I do. Sorry.

I wish I could live out Cry of Fear.

Granted, but since I don't know what Cry of Fear is, it's going to be nothing like you imagined it to be like.

I wish I had a Dodge Viper.

Granted, but it's full of vipers.

(Cry of Fear is a horror game mod for Half Life)

I wish I could find my knife. I lost it.

Granted, but it's in your chest.

I wish I had some pizza.

Granted, but it is moldy.

I wish to never have to clean the grease traps ever again.

Granted, but now you have to clean the nastiest, filthiest toilets in the world instead.

I wish I could go to Silent Hill.

Granted, but when you get there not only do you have to deal with the weird demon things/nightmares, you also have to deal with full psycho mode me.

I wish I could live out cry of fear.

Granted, but you end up getting very bored and then you live out somethig else.

I wish that I didn't have blisters on my ankles.

Granted, but instead you now have blisters on your face.

I wish I could find what I'm looking for. The mystery to this condemned life, so full of hate and evil and wrong, yet still with a small hope fluttering about.

Granted, but it turns out that when you find what you are looking for, it ends up being a duplicate of what you wanted to find, becuase the thing thing is gone.

I wish my grammar was better than it currently is.

Granted, but it's in dinosaur, so now no human can tell what you are saying.

I wish I had someone to love...

Granted, but the person is an artificialy created cyborg, and therefore is unable to show true emotion.

I wish for some beef jerky.

Granted, but it gets stuck in your throat. Now die.

I wish that I had everyones hearts so I could eat them and then kill myself.

Spoiler:

Granted, but then you get a heart transplant. Or something like that.

I wish I didn't eat so much today.

Granted, but then you ate so little you almost die of starvation. Then I appear and stab you until your guts fall out.

I wish I had more KitKats.

Granted, but they are made of snakes.

I wish I had a house made of gold.

Granted, but it's molten gold. And it was built around you, so you burn alive. Actually, you survive, but your bottom side is completely burned away.

I wish I wasn't so disturbing.

Granted, but now you are so cheerfull that it annoys people to no end.

I wish I had nicer looking clothes.

Granted, but you are mugged and killed.

I wish you couldn't have a next wish and I had a puppy.

Granted, but the puppy malls you and eats all of your flesh.

………

Granted, but the periods turn into these:

?????????

I wish I was chosen as a contestant on The Price Is Right.

Granted but there is an equipment malfunction during the taping and the studio explodes.

I wish I was indestructible.

Granted, but you become so lonely in your indestructibility that you live in a cave for all eternity.

I wish I didn't have a headache right now.