Slender Blog Critiques

Zander wrote:

Who has yet to be critiqued? *Looks around* I feel like doing one.

The World That Never Was, please?

Zander wrote:

Broeckchen wrote:

Kay wrote:

If anyone here is still looking for a blog to review I just want to point out that these four still need to be properly reviewed:

Vivere Disce
Father of Light
Vox93
A Fate Worse Than Death

These, Pantsu~<3

Delmonty already reviewed Father of Light and Vox93 a couple pages back, and Vivere Disce was covered by Slice and someone else too. I can't find a link to A Fate Worse Than Death in this thread either. So I'll review yours Shayde.

I'mma need a drink to get through all of that though.

heh, let me help you with that

fateworsethandeath.blogspot.com

Zander wrote:

Broeckchen wrote:

Kay wrote:

If anyone here is still looking for a blog to review I just want to point out that these four still need to be properly reviewed:

Vivere Disce
Father of Light
Vox93
A Fate Worse Than Death

These, Pantsu~<3

Delmonty already reviewed Father of Light and Vox93 a couple pages back, and Vivere Disce was covered by Slice and someone else too. I can't find a link to A Fate Worse Than Death in this thread either. So I'll review yours Shayde.

I'mma need a drink to get through all of that though.

Actually, Delmonty reviewed Smiting the Gods and then said that she hadn't yet read Father of Light or Vox93, so reviews on those would wait until later.

Just Saiyan.

Please don't forget the RRRUUUURRRUUU though, guys. Give someone else a critique and you will be critiqued.

Broeckchen wrote:

Please don't forget the RRRUUUURRRUUU though, guys. Give someone else a critique and you will be critiqued.

Okay, which ones are requested but not yet done?

Putting all three of mine up there. PIFTO, Para N-S-N, and Have You Seen Me?. I'll think of something to review--for now, though, let 'er rip! Riff 'em, point out every last flaw. FEED ME.

PNSN- WHY YOU DELETE. I WANTED TO READ THAT GRAAAAAAAAAAH

PIFTO- I fucking loved the first half of your blog. You went from making comments to 60 ravenous followers and a blog dedicated to interpreting you overnight. That's some shit! But, I think (who knows if this is true you cancelled it) the path it was going on wasn't as good as the way it was at first. The cryptic metaphors? RIGHTEOUS AS SHIT. Crossing over with Reach and Ava as intensely as you did, to me was a mistake. But again this is like critiquing an unfinished painting. I WAS SO UPSET WHEN YOU CANCELLED THIS BLOG.

PNSN- Trust me, it managed to make H(a)unting look complex by comparison. :\ XD

PIFTO- :3 Thanks for the review, homes.

Here's my review of: http://perhapshesleeps.blogspot.com/



Just on the first post, I gotta say that I don't like the labels at the bottom of it. Not a bad way to start out though, making a blog about reviewing books. Though I was expecting more drawn out reviews of the books as well, and to me you jumped the gun on bringing in Slendy stuff. It might've been better had you pulled the character into the books of fantasy more at first before he delved into Der Großmann, and I did like how you kept calling him that. From Slendy stuff onward, you did a pretty good job. I got a very similar vibe to Just Another Fool of which I assume was a high inspiration with the Norse God references and Yggdrasil, and was interested to see every new page flipped and every new picture(for the record, I like JAF for that book and the Yggdrasil thing, but it's not one of my favorites). You made me say "The fuck?" aloud when I read some of the posts, so kudos to you.



As I got towards the middle of the blog, it felt more surreal and less believable for me. The cult thing was an interesting turn of events, but the Aftermath post reminded me too much of some action flick thing and just seemed all sorts of ridiculous. This was slightly redeemed by the Omega post that I knew was coming, and I couldn't help but grin.

When the end came, I was just thoroughly confused. I feel as if I understand it, but I don't at the same time. Maybe it just went over my head with some of John's posts. Nevertheless, an enjoyable yet slightly confusing read.

Para-not-so-normal:
Dearie, it was one of the most inconsistent things when it comes to quality - it shifted eagerly between amazing and horrible. Fizzy was wonderfully fleshed out and for all the horribly unbelievable badassery she supposedly performed she was actually believable personality-wise. Her heroic sacrifice was a wonderful touch.
As for her Back-from-the-dead episode, well, I didn't like it being a back-from-the-dead episode because I'm just sick of those, but it was more of wonderfully written Fizzbomb with badassery that was much more believable. All in all, could have been better, but a fine job it was.

Maduin wrote:

Para-not-so-normal:
Dearie, it was one of the most inconsistent things when it comes to quality - it shifted eagerly between amazing and horrible. Fizzy was wonderfully fleshed out and for all the horribly unbelievable badassery she supposedly performed she was actually believable personality-wise. Her heroic sacrifice was a wonderful touch.
As for her Back-from-the-dead episode, well, I didn't like it being a back-from-the-dead episode because I'm just sick of those, but it was more of wonderfully written Fizzbomb with badassery that was much more believable. All in all, could have been better, but a fine job it was.

Yyyyyeah, I had intended to reveal the badassery as a ton of hogwash and hallucinations a LOT earlier. :\ Fucking November, how did you work.

@Maduin: I posted a list on the last page...

Zander wrote:

Here's my review of: http://perhapshesleeps.blogspot.com/



Though I was expecting more drawn out reviews of the books as well, and to me you jumped the gun on bringing in Slendy stuff. It might've been better had you pulled the character into the books of fantasy more at first before he delved into Der Großmann, and I did like how you kept calling him that. From Slendy stuff onward, you did a pretty good job. I got a very similar vibe to Just Another Fool of which I assume was a high inspiration with the Norse God references and Yggdrasil, and was interested to see every new page flipped and every new picture(for the record, I like JAF for that book and the Yggdrasil thing, but it's not one of my favorites).

Zander wrote:

before he delved into Der Großmann, and I did like how you kept calling him that.

Zander wrote:

Der Großmann

Zander wrote:

Der Großmann

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-!!!!!

I didn't read the whole blog yet (started though, but it might take a while...) but I gathered that

Spoiler:

and really should give the impression to be him.
Again, when written like that, the whole word just becomes narmy for everyone who really knows German. It's as if you'd call him Slendyman in English. Looks funny? Right. Of course,

Spoiler:

but I doubt that was what you intendend. Contrarily to Zander, I will cringe in pain everytime you'll say this term... :<

Furthermore, just as a reminder:

Spoiler:

That said, I'm still going to read your blog and critique it. Please don't be sad if I might rant a lot during reading it though if you used a lot of German...

Zander wrote:

Here's my review of: http://perhapshesleeps.blogspot.com/



Just on the first post, I gotta say that I don't like the labels at the bottom of it. Not a bad way to start out though, making a blog about reviewing books. Though I was expecting more drawn out reviews of the books as well, and to me you jumped the gun on bringing in Slendy stuff. It might've been better had you pulled the character into the books of fantasy more at first before he delved into Der Großmann, and I did like how you kept calling him that. From Slendy stuff onward, you did a pretty good job. I got a very similar vibe to Just Another Fool of which I assume was a high inspiration with the Norse God references and Yggdrasil, and was interested to see every new page flipped and every new picture(for the record, I like JAF for that book and the Yggdrasil thing, but it's not one of my favorites). You made me say "The fuck?" aloud when I read some of the posts, so kudos to you.



As I got towards the middle of the blog, it felt more surreal and less believable for me. The cult thing was an interesting turn of events, but the Aftermath post reminded me too much of some action flick thing and just seemed all sorts of ridiculous. This was slightly redeemed by the Omega post that I knew was coming, and I couldn't help but grin.

When the end came, I was just thoroughly confused. I feel as if I understand it, but I don't at the same time. Maybe it just went over my head with some of John's posts. Nevertheless, an enjoyable yet slightly confusing read.

Yeah, I kinda regret not drawing it out a bit more at the start with the book stuff, and I kinda jumped in a bit too soon. I mainly used the labels for hiding stuff that wasn't important to the story, but for those who wanted to seek it out. When I started, I hadn't actually read JAF properly. I had read a summery or two of it, and the first few posts, which gave me the idea of using a notebook and pictures. I never read I properly until around the EYE post, at which point I realised just how close it was, and.

The middle was basiclly me getting bored. If I'd had any sense at the time, I would have ended it after

Spoiler:

But I didn't, and seeing as no one solved the Keyed Ceaser Cypher (the key was YGGDRASIL), I couldn't go onto my other story I'd thought of. So instead I decided to follow the Liesmith. Most of those posts where just to keep me interested, and to get me to the big revelation and end. I used Nazis! Gunfights! Quests! Unbelievable Injuries! Mostly I was just rambling by that stage.

The end, I'll admit, is just broken. Even though there's only a post to go, I kinda screwed it a little, taking it into a post-modern, surrealist place, where even I get a little confused as to what I was actually aiming for. Most of it from the middle onwards was just me trying to push people suspension of disbelief, and my own, but creating a strange mess instead.

Thanks for the critique

Broeckchen wrote:

Zander wrote:

Der Großmann

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-!!!!!

I didn't read the whole blog yet (started though, but it might take a while...) but I gathered that

Spoiler:

and really should give the impression to be him.
Again, when written like that, the whole word just becomes narmy for everyone who really knows German. It's as if you'd call him Slendyman in English. Looks funny? Right. Of course,

Spoiler:

but I doubt that was what you intendend. Contrarily to Zander, I will cringe in pain everytime you'll say this term... :<

Furthermore, just as a reminder:

Spoiler:

That said, I'm still going to read your blog and critique it. Please don't be sad if I might rant a lot during reading it though if you used a lot of German...

Don't worry about 'Der Großmann' showing up too many times...okay maybe it shows up a bit more then a few, but I don't really know any German, bar a few words, so it was a mistake (though one I probably should have figured out). And actually

Spoiler:

And I used a lot more French then German, so you should be fine there...well I hope so

As for the god thing, I know that the Norse gods are Scandinavian in origin and anything that linked them to Germany was probably a slight mistake on my part. I tried to base The Liesmith more off Loki from "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman, and less off the one of myth.There was a reason for that but not a very good one in the fact that

Spoiler:

Anyway keep reading. I can't wait for your full critique

(And don't hold back. If it's bad, say so. Anything to help make my writing better )

Maduin wrote:

Broeckchen wrote:

Please don't forget the RRRUUUURRRUUU though, guys. Give someone else a critique and you will be critiqued.

Okay, which ones are requested but not yet done?

http://vox93.blogspot.com/
http://michenab-fatheroflight.blogspot.com/

These two have not been done yet.

Michenab wrote:

Maduin wrote:

Broeckchen wrote:

Please don't forget the RRRUUUURRRUUU though, guys. Give someone else a critique and you will be critiqued.

Okay, which ones are requested but not yet done?

http://vox93.blogspot.com/
http://michenab-fatheroflight.blogspot.com/

These two have not been done yet.

I'm getting the impression that there is some kind of prejudice directed towards those two. Like a conspiracy going, "Errbody! Don't review them! Maybe it'll make them go away!

all I can say about Vox 93, is that I decided I'd peek into it, saw the phrase 'sex magic' and closed the window. I doubt the entire blog is like that, nor in detail, I just didn't want to go on any further atm.

maybe i'll read father of light

zero wrote:

all I can say about Vox 93, is that I decided I'd peek into it, saw the phrase 'sex magic' and closed the window. I doubt the entire blog is like that, nor in detail, I just didn't want to go on any further atm.

maybe i'll read father of light

Oh, that's just Setoth's oddly roundabout way of saying he's picked up a girlfriend.

I know the post you're talking about, and it was supposed to be mostly humorous. Over half of the content is thinly veiled innuendos directed towards Arkady and Javert.

Okay.

Father of Light was hard to read. I can't really place why, but it was kind of dull, even up into the more recent posts, though it has been picking up steam.

I woudl like to say though that you should leave the magick stuff to Vox. I dunno why, it just feels out of place here.

As for Vox:

Once you started getting slendery, It got a lot better and easier to read. still sometimes I have a hard time at getting through your posts, though I'd be pressed to say why.

Maybe its just that I was reading your posts in tandem, reading FoL -> Vox93 -> StG back to FoL. Who knows.

I would put Eccentrically Bored and Hidden in the Trees up for review, but I'd feel like a dick doing that without reviewing something else. Any suggestions on which blog(s) I should review?

Seann wrote:

I would put Eccentrically Bored and Hidden in the Trees up for review, but I'd feel like a dick doing that without reviewing something else. Any suggestions on which blog(s) I should review?

Any, really. Vox93 and Father of Light could still use a more elaborate review though, I guess.

Seann wrote:

I would put Eccentrically Bored and Hidden in the Trees up for review, but I'd feel like a dick doing that without reviewing something else. Any suggestions on which blog(s) I should review?

REVIEW ALL OF THEM. LIKE A BOSS.

Very well:

Vox 93 Review:

The first thing Setoth does is

Discuss the the occult!
(Like a boss!)
Listen to music!
(Like a boss!)
Go to a concert!
(Like a boss!)
Plug his friend's blog!
(Like a boss!)
Discuss Death Black Metal!
(Like a boss!)
Discuss Slender Man!
(Like a boss!)
Correct Omega!
(Like a boss!)
Summon Slendy!
(Like a boss!)
Ally with Arkady!
(Like a boss!)
Make some symbols!
(Like a boss!)
Do some experiments!
(Like a boss!)

*ahem* Anyway, serious review time:

Vox 93 is a mixed bag. When it's good, it's really good, but all the other times are a bit of a killjoy. Setoth has a tendency to ramble, and while the first half of the blog did a great job of establishing his character, it also reminded me of why I don't read normal blogs-- too little happening. It wasn't long before I found myself just skimming through the entries. Occasionally, something would catch my interest and I'd find myself reading an entire entry (the one about the Ars Goetia was one of these), but for the most part I found myself wondering when Slendy would show up and start going through his usual routine.

Admittedly, how Slendy finally showed up was amusing, and it was a pretty well-done instance of "Oh, I heard of Slender Man but I don't believe he'sOHMYGODTHEREHEISAAAAAAAH!". Once again proving that it is, in fact, possible to do cliches in interesting ways.

I'm still not done reading through it (I'm on "The Lazarus Effect" right now) so my opinion my change, but right now it's an interesting blog with an unfortunate tendency to read like a textbook at times.

But that's why we love dear old Setoth. Everyone needs a rambler. <3 /obviousbias

Michenab wrote:

But that's why we love dear old Setoth. Everyone needs a rambler. <3 /obviousbias

*smirk* Critique is not to be used to justify yourself against it, but to accept it. (Or not...)

Broeckchen wrote:

Michenab wrote:

But that's why we love dear old Setoth. Everyone needs a rambler. <3 /obviousbias

*smirk* Critique is not to be used to justify yourself against it, but to accept it. (Or not...)

He's the author of Father of Light, not Vox.

Besides, who doesn't love a rambler? Right?
(Actually, tbh that'd be my primary complaint against Vox as well)